#Pastdemons

A student walked into my office and said "it's time for our daily therapy session." Keep in mind I've been in office at my new job for a grand total of 9 days. We've had some conversations, but nothing that I would consider a therapy session. That's beside the point though.

Conversation started pretty mild. I was asked about my weekend, what I was doing for the holiday break, where home was, why my home state had so many S's, and if I'd found a place to stay yet. I asked generally the same questions and went on to ask about how he came to be at UTA. That led to him talking about how he wasn't "big" on school until his brother gave him the talk... He clarified that it was not the same as the birds and the bees talk. We both giggled.

He talked about independence and change and how hard it is when you're faced with both at the same time... (I'm paraphrasing) He talked about wanting to be independent and persistent enough to conquer his fears (graduating, living alone,making his own momey) and achieve his goals.. However, he broke up with his first and only girlfriend (2 years) right before coming to college and that didn't help the situation.

He's involved on campus, but doesn't fit what he sees as the stereotypes for his organizations. He does what he needs to and then goes home. This is where the bigger issue comes into play. No girlfriend, few friends, roommates have girlfriends, and tons of free time. He's lonely. He says he doesn't know how to stop feeling like he's missing out. ....And then there's quiet. And more quiet.... He asks if there is a way to to get rid of that feeling. If he could just push it out of his mind and forget that's what it feels like to not have...her. Ok, wow. Yes, I have a background in psychology/counseling, but I'm supposed to steer clear of counseling in my current position. That's why we have counseling centers. I did give my 2 cents on counseling not being for "crazy people" and instead providing people with an opportunity to spill all with mo judgement. There's more to it, but the counselors can explain how it works.

I asked him if there was anything from his past that he had pushed out of his mind, but not necessarily dealt with it. His response was how do you know when something from your past is affecting something in your future. A question many people, young and old, struggle with.

I told him that there was no formula for that as far as I know and I do my best to deal with things as they come up by talking, journaling, blogging, reading, living,praying, and mainly just being content with me. There was a time way back when I didn't know how to be ok with just me because I didn't really know that I was supposed to be. It didn't take much time for me to realize that waiting for someone was not always the answer. It started with movies for me. That's how I initially found my true independence. I would wait for my friends InHigh school to say they could go or they had money and I ended up waiting forever. Sometimes missing the movie in theaters period. It wasn't until college that I said flip it and started going on my own. After that, no situation made me feel lonely. Lonliness comes from within and I chose to not let it take over because there would always be a time when someone was too busy, or I was single, or some other situation would present itself where I was physically alone, but that didn't mean I had to feel emotionally alone. It took a minute for me to get there, but once I did, there was no going back.

I sat there listening to this intelligent, handsome, energetic, young man tell me that labels are defining him and choosing the course of his life and he wasn't sure how to take the wheel back. Sure.. It's common for students to have a difficult time figuring out the whole development/ independence/adult thing, but there was just something about this conversation that threw me. I wanted to help him discover the greatness of being great with self. It was different from my usual desire to help someone move forward. Unfortunately, I know I can't do that for him. What I can do is talk about happiness and loving life and modeling what that looks likes. I also plan to get him connected with some male role models when I get to know more people.

We could have talked forever, but I had to go upstairs to get added to some bank accounts. Talk about bad timing for something only mildly important.

"The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself." - Mark Twain

Next Chapter... Nothing but happiness!

As I sit here in my borrowed living quarters listening to the Buble station on my Pandora phone app, sort of watching Practical Magic on my muted tv, typing on my Ipad compliments of my job, I think "man, life really has given me a run for my money this year, but I've come out on top yet again.." I'm glad to be standing on my own two feet, although I've definitely had enough support to get here. In general, I'm a pretty tough cookie. I think the good Lord created me to handle evereything that has happened to me, and I truly thank him for that. I think life would have taken me out in May had I not been who I am.

In no particular order, my year has consisted of gaining 15 lbs, 2 good crying spells, 11 states including Alaska, countless laughs with friends and family, many days of boredom, responsibility of a parent, heated debates with loved ones about love and other drugs, conversations with estranged family members, 2 jobs, 7 months of unemployment, reunions with some great people (3 from 2 different states in particular), a lot of cheese steaks and ice cream, trips to the park, a climb up a snowy mountain, some memorable thank you notes, a few self discoveries, and so much more. I can't say that i've lacked excitement and adventure for sure.

You know, I never really know what's going to hit me, but more often than not, I know when something is coming. I get a feeling when a storm is coming my way. My intuition kicks into overdrive and I start to prepare. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. Fortunately for me, my most recent upset wasn't a total surprise to me and I prepared as much as I could to bounce back.

It wasn't all peaches and cream though. Sometimes the days seemed so long and useless that a pinch was necessary for me to believe things were really as they seemed. I shocked myself because those days were still a joy to have.Prior to that time in my life, I had so many blue skies, so much lauhgter, so much love, and so much adventure. I guess I just needed an opportunity to remember to value it all again. The last 8 months have definitely given me that opportunity. All the things that were so natural to me like blue skies, lauhgter, love, and adventure weren't so natural anymore. Money was tight, everyone was doing their everyday routine except me. It was tough. Really tough at times. I value those things and I believe I always have, but it's different when it something changes in routine and you have no control over it. When you're at the mercy of someone else providing things for you. It makes me feel weak and way too vulnerable.

To be sitting here tonight in a place that I paid to stay in, driving myself around, going to my office 5 days a week, ordering food that I want to eat, going to the coffee shop that I prefer versus the one that's on the way, sitting in peace or in chaos whenever I feel like it... Those are some of the things that were taken away from me 8 months ago. Those are the things that I forgot to be thankful for on occasion. Never again though. Never again will I take anything for granted.

I'm so thankful for this year that I can't really begin to compose a sentence that's tells just how great it was... Just know that it was all just so freaking fantastic and worth it...the good and the not so good.

I read a quote once by Martha Washington that said "I've learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances."

No, not yet... please.

I don't want it to be over now or ever really. Yes, I could use a different location and loads more money, but i still dont want it to be over. My honeymoon. My sabbatical. My refresher. My sanity break. My bum time. My break from reality. Whatever you want to call it, I don't want it to be over. Unfortunately, i think it's about that time. I am officially on the market and I'm not coming off until an offer is accepted.

It was sort of dramatic as I was submitting the first application. My heart was fluttering. Memories were swarming. My hands were sweating. Panic was rising. Seriously, I needed to get a grip, but I kind of couldn't. I was trying to decide if i was ready to let the present go and move towards the future. I mean, do I remember how to interview. I know how to interview others, but it's been a minute since I was on the recieving end.

The mini panic attack lasted about 20 minutes too long, but all was well. I went on to submit a few more applications, and now Im playing the waiting game.

I made another decision that could change my life forever...literally. I'm applying to Peace Corps. A remarkable organization that i would be beyond thankful to be a part of. It's truly mind boggling though to think that I could be leaving in just a few months. I'm completely down for the cause and think i could be be of some help.

I can't really imagine what it would be like to completely give myself to another culture like they do in Peace Corps. 27 months living in and being a part of a completely different world. Those who know me know of all my ridiculous allergies and dislikes - Shellfish, fruit, grass, wood, bugs, sharing food, nature, etc. So know that the living arangement is not easy for me to wrap my head around, but the cause outweighs all that crap.. except for the allergies. I'll be talking with the recruiter about how I can make it out alive. I would like to do that. I haven't been extended an invitation yet, so I'm still pretty calm about not having the luxuries that America provides. Wathc the video below and go to the Peace Corps website for more info.



I'm really excited about where my life is about to take me even though I'll be losing this massive amount of free time. it will all be worth it though. I'm certain of that.

Surprise from Kate Hudson

Channel flipping as a result of none of my shows being on brought me to the Rachel Zoe Project. I've seen it advertise a few times, but had never watched it. I like being up-to-date on fashion so I decided to give it a try. The show is fairly interesting...in an I really don't have an interest in you, but your life is kind of interesting way.

I do like that I get to see the business side of the industry. Who to talk to? Who does what? Who throws you to the wolves? How to respond to being thrown to the wolves? The fashion shows are great to watch too. Not sure if I'll watch it again, but I did get a happy surprise from Kate Hudson, a great Actress and friend of Rachel Zoe. The clip below tells all. I had no idea and probably would have never thought this about her.



I really enjoy Kate Hudson as an Actress. My enjoyment of her has increased after seeing her on the show. She seems very down to earth and fun. Just my type of friend.

Giving props below.

Sweet as Pie...or bun

I woke up to this,



which had this under it.



A product of affection.... from my 11 year old cousin. Yesterday, their mom went to a breadhouse and returned with various types of honey buns. There were only 2 of the above kind, which her 2 children received. I was a tad bit jealous. I had never seen one like it and I really wanted to taste. The 15 year old devoured her in a matter of minutes, so no go there. The 11 year old decided to have a make-shift banana split (vanilla ice cream and a cut up banana) for dessert insteade of eating her honey bun. I asked her if I could taste it when she opened it and she promptly responded "Yes Gina." I assumed she would forget and I would have to go buy one, but not only did she remember, but she left it as a surprise for me before she went off to school this morning.

The real me is thinking that she had her dirty curnudgeoned hands all over it as she stressfully cut the bun in a straight line and gave me enough. You can see in the picture that there is a second piece as if she thought the first was insufficient (a word we studied yesterday in relation to observations and scientific laws), which provided her another opportunity to touch all over it.

I pondered for about 30 minutes before I broke off the sides and tasted the middle, which to my bewilderment, was filled with a creme of some sort. I was expecting soft and delicious, not a soft and mushy explosion. Even though I was 2 seconds from vomiting, the bun was actually pretty tasty including the gunk in the middle.

I'll have to do something special for her. She's such a sweetheart.

Funk Getter-Outter

This scene is so funny to me.

Enjoy!!!

Which way now?

Today felt like this.

Can anyone help me find my way out?

Reality Tv: Out of control

There are a million bazillion reality shows out there just waiting for people to make fools out of themselves. I watch quite a few of the shows and I am not ashamed to admit it. They are entertaining. Yeah, they may be scripted and ridiculous, but I get a kick out of them and by the end of a season I usually feel some type of ridiculous connection to the host(s)and the contestants.

A majoirty of the shows include something about being named the best, the master, the next, the top, the whatever in any and everything. Seriously though, I am waiting for the next best pom scum picker - maybe a little dramatic, but I am. Every other week, maybe more, i'm seeing a new reality show about being the best at something.

It got me to thinking about me and what show I could apply for at this time in my life. I can't be on top model unless they get a little loose with the requirements or on top chef. The next soap star is off the air and I wouldn't dare embarass myslef by trying out for so you think you can dance. The ultimate cake challenge would devour me along with Work of Art, although I could probably creat something that looked a little bit like art in order to get through 1 phase of auditions. I don't know though. I'm all about the shows that get rid of you for being a huge competitor like big Brother and Amazing Race, but a show like Survivor would never see my face. I like to compete ad chat it up, but not with bugs,fire, trees, and people who want to eat you becuase there isn't any real food. I need sweet drinks, food that I don't have to slaughter, electricity, and a bed with a matress. I just recently saw Scream Queens 2. It's a competition show for women that want to break into acting. The winner will get to be in the next Saw movie and get some other prozes than I can't remember. There are some pretty bad actors on there, but i could totally see myself on a cheesy show like that. It would let me do what I love for people that still have some type of influece in the industry... even if it isn't exactly the genre I want to be a part of. Horror would be at the bottom of the list right before movies like Napolean Dynamite. I absolutely hated it.I would stop acting if that was the only type of movie I was getting offered.

There is also Rupauls show, which I obviously can't be on, but I would love to be a judge. That would be another job that I would love to do. I would host quite a few of them and think I would be pretty good at it,

Sorry if you had no interest in reality, but I've been watching quite a bit. Better luck next time.

~Reel Moments~

The Truman Show (1998)

Truman: [to an unseen Christof] Who are you?
Christof: [on a speaker] I am the Creator - of a television show that gives hope and joy and inspiration to millions.
Truman: Then who am I?
Christof: You're the star.

Eat Pray Love... blah, blah, bl...

For months and months and months, I looked over this book in bookstores. It was in the front of the bookstore that I frequented, and I would look at with ambivalence. I just didn't want to read. People were on radio talkshows and tv's talking about how it changed their lives and still I wanted nothing to do with it. A few months went by and I heard that it would be turned into a movie. I love movies, so I figured I would see it, but there was no way I would spend even a day trying to read it. Some time later, I heard that Julia Roberts would be playing the lead. That got my attention. I love her work. I have watched every movie that she has made. It is sort of like Sex and the city for me... I will watch her even if I think the movie will be bad. Anyway, they have done great by adding Julia because now I want to read the book before i go see the movie.

I was in a state of awe as I watched the trailer. It is the epitome of letting go and living for you. A year of nothing but exploring, soul searching,eating, and of course falling in love seems like it would be beyond wonderful. It seems insightful and encouraging. Telling you to take time to deal with you, to find an appetite for life, and to do it now. The whole soul searching is interesting to me though, because sometimes it takes a minute to know that something should be taken into account. How do you know for sure that something matters? Yeah, the old saying don't take anything for granted comes to mind, but we all know that we take stuff for granted everfy day. I've been trying these last couple of months to really live in the moment. To be aware of everything when it's happening and to know that you are aware is invigorating. I'm sure I've missed things though.

Take a look if you haven't seen the trailor. I can't wait to experience the journey.



Here is another version.

Do People Still Skate? For Real??

Back in the day, I went skating all the time. Friday Night with my best outfit on, which by the way was probably too fitted to skate in. I had a car, so I didn't have to get dropped off like some of my friends. That meant that I could go for a root beer float or an oreo blizzard afterwards. A few lucky friends would be able to ride home with me, but I wasn't trying to load my down with the entourage of people that were official back seat riders. Going to the rink was about the only time in my teenage years that I tried to be on time. Everyone wanted to get there as soon as possible in order to have the maximum amount of time to flirt, skate, eat, play video games, and dance when the DJ announced that skates needed to come off for the next hour or so. It was extremely exciting from start to finish. That is if you had at least 2 friends to hang with. Like everything else in high school, cliques were everywhere in the skating rink. Yes, it makes life difficult and wonderful to be a part of a clique, but that's just the way it always seems to be. You just can't get away from them.

Anyway, I was brought back into reality last Friday when my mom and younger cousin wanted to go skating. Last time they came to Tally (4th of July - 2009), I didn't look for the skating rink because...hmmm. because I just didn't. This time I wasn't going to be able to ignore the constant request to find a rink. So, Friday night we ventured to unchartered territory. I was dreading the toddlers and teenagers, but I was pretty sure it would be completely empty because people don't skate anymore. So I thought anyway. Unfortunately for me they were all there along with young adults and some oldies. It seems to me that nothing is age appropriate anymore. Everything is sort of one size fits all. There were quite a few people there. There were People renting the traditional pair of roller skates or the newer of version of rollerblades. They didn't have those to rent when I was high school. You had to bing your own and some rinks wouldn't allow you to bring in street skates. They supposedly scratched the floor. Some were sitting in the food court area eating and watching their friends or children go round and round. I decided to sit on the carpet covered seats that surrounded that actual rink. I wanted a front row seat. I was thrown that so many people were there.

I had the same feelings I did last friday that I had 10+ years ago. Watching the pros and the amateurs was great. I prefer watching the people who do tricks and move to the beat of the random songs that are played, but watching a great fall is equally entertaining as long as no one gets hurt. There was one guy that I could not keep my eyes off for the duration of the night. He was a smooth criminal for sure. It was as if he owned the floor and the ridiculous amount of chaos around him was not there. He flowed or better yet glided arund the floor rocking and swaying and spinning and lifting and doing what he did so beautifully that I had to tell myself to stop staring before he dicided I was creeper. It was great watching him though. I remember being able to command attention like that on the floor. I think men are slightly smoother than women because they don't have big bottoms and boobies to control, but I could dance and skate great enough to be asked to roll with groups and do special tricks with the best of them.

I had a great time and plan to test my abilities sometime soon. I wonder if it's just like riding a bike. Once you learn, you always know how. I don't want to have bruises at my age. Skating would not be a valid excuse if my face is all busted up. I recorded some skating throughout the night that I will upload as soon as i convert the file. The video was kind of dark because the lights were low, so I recorded on negative. Bare with it... There are a few falls, some average skating, kids going really fast, the smooth criminal skating slower than anyone else, etc.

•No Privacy Allowed•

It was just for fun when I first started. Wait, it still is so that isn't what I meant. I meant... my enjoyment of it has increased tremendously, so it is becoming a part of my life. It crosses my mind more than twice a day and I usually satisfy my curiosity at least once. Most of the time, I am disappointed because of no new advancements, but sometimes... every few days, my face lights up and my lips spread from ear to ear because the appearance has changed. There are additions and that means I can spend an unspecified amount of time flowing in the land of the living. Regardless of how much I pretend it isn't ridiculous to go back everyday, spend 5 min or 90 perusing things that only enhance the random information section of my brain... Deep down I know, I know that it is not not ridiculous. Yes, i meant to write it that way. But in my defense... uhhh... in my defense, They say (whoever they are) that learning something is better than learning nothing. Ok, you caught me, I just made that up, but it sounded good in my head. I doubt that many people will argue with me anyway.

Skipping thoughts...

I have always been a pretty private person about... well, everything. Call it being careful or paranoid. Whatever works for you, but it is just a part if who am I. Something that makes me feel protected. From what? Pain, misery, catastrophic events. That's what. The downside is that it can be a little tiring at times when deciding what to tell, who to tell, when to tell, how to tell, blah, blah, blah. When in doubt, don't. That's what I say. That's what I do. Fortunately or unfortunately, there are very few times when I am doubt. Anyway, the point is that I never tell all. I only tell what is necessary to move to the immediate next step and most likely it its the abridged version.

My thoughts in the second paragraph are difficult to live up to while having the thoughts in the first paragraph. I guess that doesn't really make sense without telling you what has become a part of my life. That is if you haven't figured it out already. Blogging. I have really come to enjoy it. I journal, so I'm good with reflection and not keeping things in. But there is just something about blogging... There is a lot about it that is so inviting to me. I wasn't to do it all the time, but i haven't been able to put my all into it because of my privacy clause.

Thoughts on the title...

My enjoyment of blogging and my need for privacy don't work well together. Whenever I pick up my pen, I mean tap on a keyboard, I filter... a lot. I write just enough to get my thought out, but not enough to let it all hang out. Like now, I'm saying that I haven't been telling all, but not saying specifically what I withheld. Here's a thought... I want to delete my filter...for blogging, not for life.

I've been debating this for about a month and have decided that I can't do it... on this blog... because I know you all. And... even if you don't come to my site as much as I go to yours, there is always that chance that you might. I can't risk you being able to blackmail me about anything. Sorry.

BUT.... Yes, there is a but. I can if I creasy another blog. I feel bad... ummm... no... trader-ish to do that, but it is my only option to truly feel free enough to write it all. People i don't know, who don't know the people I know, the things i do, the way I live. It's perfect. I go to strangers blogs pretty often and it's kind of voyeuristic, but it's also pretty great. I only know them by what they tell me. They are creating a world for me and who knows how many others. A world that doesn't necessarily change ours, but that may motivate and/or humor us as individuals.

I created a template about 2 weeks ago For my new blog and haven't gone back to edit the layout or write anything. It's almost like I'm waiting for the RIGHT thing to write, which is exactly why I started it, so I wouldn't wait. So I wouldn't filter. So I would put it all out there. So, What the crap am I waiting on?

Whenever I begin this journey, I will occasionally reflect on it here. I won't give the title or the url or the exact details, but I will be honest about what it's like to write freely about whatever, whenever, however.

I leave you with this...

Don't hold it in... Whatever it is. Happiness, sadness, confusion, excitement, contentment, craziness... Get it out in a way that satisfies you. Although, a few secrets never hu...uhhh, that's not true so I'm not going to write it.

~Reel Moments~

Julie and Julia

Julie Powell: I can write a blog. I have thoughts too.

The first of a few....

It is finally time for me to post about the wonderful summer that i've been having. This summer has been like no other for mutliple reasons. This post is dedicated to all those who love traveling.

My first adventure of the summer was to Tampa. Nothing new really. I've been there a few times for a few different reasons. This trip was different though. It was for me and no one else. It was a time for me to chill out and enjoy some of the things I enjoyed like good food and gambling. I also planned on doing a little sight seeing.

I made a friend. I can't quite remember her name, but she's my friend. We sat at the same machines for probably 5 hours. I ate the same meal 4 times because it tasted so good to me... Philly Cheesesteak, Fries, and a Strawberry Shake. MMMmmmm




I played until my eyes rolled in the back of my head.

I was only planning on staying for 1 night, but 1 thing led to another and I ended up staying for 3 days. It was wonderful not having anything holding me back or bringing me back. I stayed at the Hard Rock my first night with a free night stay. The rooms were really cozy and wonderful even though I only saw it to sleep.

The next to nights, I stayed in the place below. It definitely wasn't the Hard Rock, but it had air conditioning, running water, cable, and coffee in the makeshift lobby. What more could a girl ask for? It was only about 4 minutes from the casino and the strip, so I was good to go.

Tampa was great, but it came to an end when I thought about how much money I could spend if I stayed... Goodbye Tampa.

On to My next trip...

The Plane:

My Asian friend and I. He decided to take a little nap and lean on the window, although that is better than him leaning on me as he was earlier on the flight.

To be cont'd...

small town feel, BIG city taste

IA few weeks ago, a friend mentioned that there was a new addition to tallahassee. A place that was said to be one of a kind and that would leave you wanting to return over and over again. My goodness, the reviews are right. I drove to the parking lot after a quick conversation about breakfast and remembering that Adam said it existed. I was just about to pass it, most likely on our way to somewhere common, and decided why not try a new place. Skepticism arose as i saw the small space it occupied and the few people it held, but thought what the heck. The decor is a little lacking of of of anything, but I very much enjoyed the nice high dining room-like glazed wooden tables. There isn't that much mite to look at other than a counter for the register, the typical drink stations, part of the kitchen, and a wonderful view of parked cars overlooked by non-blooming trees. It is very clean though, and that gets more than a view anyday.

We looked over the 2 sided menu for what seemed like 30 minutes. They serve everything on the menu during all open hours, which is from 6am - 3om. We went for breakfast and that is what we ordered. By golly, it was some of the best breakfast I've had. Light, fluffy, perfectly fried beignets, cheese grits that must be from another world that specializes in them, eggs that were not cooked a second too little or too long, french bread that makes your tongue dance a little jig as a result of the soft, flaky, ridiculously buttery taste, and a perfect cup of joe to top it off.

I'm not sure if the pictures do these items justice, but know that I have found a little place of happiness in Tally and I intend to show my gratitude over and over again. Btw, everything is super cheap....grits, eggs, french bread, beignets, and coffee didn't even hit 10 bucks.

Be sure to look forward to the waitresses that have inherited the name Angelette in Angelette's cajun cafe. They are very nice, some more friendly than others, but not rude in the least. Ask about their family heritage and starting the restaurant if you get a chance.

This was also the first thing I did excluding sleep after returning from a wonderful journey of indulgence. Very nice welcome back. Now on to a crazy amount of picture sorting in order to limit the amount of pages, yes pages, of my next post. I took around 1200 or so pictures while traveling and less than a hundred are bad. I am excited to go through them to live it all over again.

I intended to do it, I swear.

I had every intention of posting about the first half of my super vacation last night. Fortunately for me, I was still in New York, which meant there were still things to see and do. I am currently in transit and prefer to read nightlight ( a parody of twilight) or Uncommon Justice than post. The plan is to post a least 1 more time before I head back to land of the free of anything I want to do. I'm not sure what the days ahead will bring, but hopefully it will include some posting.

It's a bird, It's a plane, It's vacation lady.

This last month has been a smorgasbord of day trips, weekend trips, and week trips. I couldn't have asked for anything more. It was a time for me to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, however I wanted... and that is exactly what I did. I stayed an extra day when I woke up and decided I wasn't ready to go. I ate the same thing three times in a row because itwas great and I didn't have to worry about accommodating anyone else. I sat and did nothing because I didn't feel like doing anything else and ended up listening to women interview for a waitress position and answer questions about whether or not they would be comfortable in practically nothing. The other questions were typical for a hospitality position. The statements those half dressed teeny bobbers were giving as answers were outrageous. I mean really ridiculous... Things like "Of couse I can... like... be nice to people", or " hospitality is a way to get people to buy what you want. I can be sexy and sell anything", or "Are you serious about only being able to wear 1 inch heels?" It was very entertaining. I will be on the look out for interviews when I need a laugh.

Anyway, let's just say that so far, things have been great. I will be venturing north to a place where life is what you make it, and some times what it makes you. The hustle and bustle of people doing, getting, finding, giving... Tons of movement, excitement, discomfort, love, second chances, reunions, new friendships, great food, plenty of coffee, and so so much more. To have all that ay my fingertips after being deprived of the wonderful craziness for so long would be just what the doctor ordered. And that is exactly why I am headed to the Big Apple for a much needed rendezvous. homeland in a few days. I am headed to New York. For Real though, I would choose New York as my homeland if I could. No, I don't want to denounce my heritage, but there is something about calling yourself a New Yorker. It is as if you some almighty force to be reckoned with. I'm not sure if I would acquire anymore power than I have now, but I know for sure that I would acquire a whole new sense of enjoyment for life.

Side Note: I wrote this prior to getting to new. I just forgot to post it. I am in New York now and will be writing about my adventures in the days to come.

~Reel Moments~

New York, I Love You

Dean: I'm telling you right now British women do not age well. Eight years ago she was a luscious treat, you know, she probably looked like, you know, Baby Spice, now she could look like... Jonathan: Old Spice.

Better Late Than Never.

This is a little late, but you know what they say...

I would like to give props to Mike on winning the blog challenge. He was a first timer and took the gold. There was doubt flowing in the air before the challenge began because he was going to blog about video games. There are various levels of game enjoyment within the group, but Mike is by far the biggest video gamer.

To my surprise, his posts were thoughtful and entertaining. Some more so than others, but that's okay. I don't really care how long a post is...I want to feel something when I read it, especially if it is for pleasure. I guess that is the greatness of hobbies.When you really enjoy something, you can express it in more ways than one, and it usually comes across as nothing less than pure love. So Mike, great job on becoming blog champion.

I was awarded a few subcategory awards that I am stoked about. Most Supportive Blogger and Most Universal Blog. Thanks for the votes guys and gals.

I assume there will be a challenge next year. I am in if there is, but I am relieving myself of all coordinator duties. 2 years was enough for me.

Later.

Updates***

Updates on the Blog Challenge Page....

It's Trendy - 2010 Blog-A-Day in May Winners

Enjoy

1st and last summer...

About A week ago, I walked out of house to be welcomed by a bloom. I waspretty shocked as I had no idea that anything remotely pretty occupied the such of dirt at the bottom of my stairs beside my walkway. I was intrigued, so I took a picture.

I assumed it would be no more than a poor excuse for a mini garden causing me to destroy it in the coming days. I also realized that this is the first summer I've spent in my house, which is why I had no recollection of the bloom. The next few days were spent stalking this bloom. Every time I left the house, I would stop to admire it and take a photo. I didn't know why i was taking the pictures...i just took them.

Anyway, the bloom that had turned into a beautiful ugly flower brought something different to my life. An appreciation...or at least something like it. I will put it out there that I hate nature. The bugs, heat, and unknown are just too much for me. However, this flower has ben growing with no help from me and I guess you could say that I was the owner. I have developed a sense off pride for it...... although not enough to make me want to help it in any way.

The beauty of the blooming process is that it can signify quite a few things in life that are there one second and not the next... or vice versa. Adolescence to adulthood. Single to involved. Stable to uncertain. Day dream to reality. Loving it to hating it... and so so much more.

I think the flower knows that it had done what it was supposed to do for me and it has begun to descend into the depths of flower heaven... or I've gone crazy and the flowers grow and die every year like clockwork. I'm going to go with the former.This will be the last summer that I will see my little bloom grow as i will not be the owner off this space next year. Maybe someone else will be inclined to nurture it.

Where are they now?

It's time for the dreaded high school reunion. I'm really not sure why everyone always says that the reunion is the last thing they want to do. I was actually looking forward to it... okay maybe not looking forward to it, but at least not dreading it. The people excited to go to reunions are usually the ones that in high school thought they were the big stuff and delusionally believe the same thing today. Others may include people that have completely transforned in appearance, personality or potential. I guess there are also people that want to go just to hang out, but they've gotta be scarce....right?

My thoughts on reunions have changed over the years even without me conciously evaluating it. I only know that now because i am aware of my opinion, whereas before i was not. the collection of ms being equal to being stuck and not in a good way is probably what has shaped my opinion of reunions. Going back even for a couple days could mean so kuch and so littlw. I was pretty horrible at keeping in touch with my fellow classmates, with the exception of a few that went to undergrad with me for at least half the time. I was one of a few that got away. For whatever reason, a lot of them stayed in my hometown continuing school, getting a trade, working wherever, producing, marrying, and living life as they know it. Most of that was not in the cards for me... especially not in MS. I have no true judgements on them though. In my mind, some may have given up or taking the path most traveled, but i don't know their stories. Because of that, i don't think about them. My mom always said don't say anything if you have nothing nice to say.

Umfortunately, the circumstances are pushing me to do the opposite. To not only think about them, but to do it under a microscope. How are they? What are they doing? How did they do it? Who are they dating? Why are they dating them? How many people since high school? Single, married, divorced, widowed? Hetero, homo? What's next? Alive or not? Stayed home, traveled the world? It could be really exhausting ro answer the billions of questions. Lucky or us, facebook has made it extremely easy to do from the privacy of wherever you want. Facebook is also something that i reuning the idea of reunions. You go to them to catch up with people you haven't seen in 10, 20, 30+ years. Not anymore. Now, we know almost everything about almost everyone before sending in registration forms. Yes, it is still great to see people, but the excitement of the unknown was snatched from under us without us knowing how valuable it was until it was gone.

Yesterday, i spoke with an old friend from high school. Typical "we found each other" story for today.... Casually asked about each other over the years to mutual friends. No one knows anything or maybe just that they are doing ok. Both continue living life not knowing or not caring what the other is doing. Finally 10 years later, contact is made by someone suggesting you two become facebook friends. A few pokes, messages, and chat conversations later and phone numbers have been exchanged as if no time has passed. I found out that this friend had been in a car accident a while and is completely paralized on one side. He has been in a recovery facility for 3 years and still countimg the days. His day consist of therapy and whatever he wants to do between the walls of his living arrangements. I felt pity and sadness, with a side of graciousness... for me. I want to be happy that he survived, but 'm not sure if he is.

I have a couple of friends that have passed on for various reasons and I'm perplexed as to which situation is better... or worse. Being alive and paralyzed or being dead (that's a harsh word) and not... anything. Verdicts still out.

All that in mind, it makes me want to go to the reunion just a tad bit more to just see how people are doing...
but I guess not enough. I will not be going. That's why we have facebook. :l

*****Sending happy thoughts into the universe for my old friend.*****

Premier Experience

At first glance, this place looks like an insurance company or some type of legit office building to me.

As I was searching for the gym today, I realized I was wrong. The office building is actually a big monster size gym, which is rightfully named Premier. I had already built up my pessimistic attitude about joining after looking at the membership fees online, but figured I could go once as a $7 guest and then be on my way to $14.99 a month no contract membership to Gold's.

Upon arrival, I played find Regina with the checkin trainer. You know when you are walking somewhere and someone is headed straight towards you and you both move to the same side 3 or 10 times at the same time until you both decide to be completely still at the same time... It was a little like that except a plant was our barrier. Anywho... I filled out some papers and off we went to the, insert word of your choice, world of yoga.

I own a yoga mat. Bought it for my Wii. Used it a few times. Forgot it when I decide to do real live yoga. So, i'm stuck with a used mat or the sweaty hardwood floor.
The instructor is ready to begin after everyone is situated with knee pads, butt pads, and yoga mats. We do typical poses like sun salutations and half Moon. Lunges and stretches and planks and more strechets and look behind you and dog walk it too the left and find your, insert word i couldn't understand that i think means center, and splits and downward facing dog and and and...

And then one last twist stretch 50 minutes later, which i do quite often at home to pop my back. It makes me feel like this.

Then she instructs us to lie back and close our eyes. The music that was faint before is now donging in my ear...in my body. I try to tune it out and just relax. Somehow those dongs become pieces of my life...time, memories, plans, nonplans... I try to block it out once stumore, but no luck. I have become one with the dongs, so I enbrace them and every thought that accompanies them. I hear something...maybe not...well...what...open your eyes, what is going on....what...oh, she wants us to get up... WTC. Ok, fine.

UMMMMMMMMM. This is how I feel.

I have also re-entered the noisy world with clanging weigts, shoes beating up the ground, and random murmurs of conversation. Please bring the dongs back.

And it is over. She bids us a good night. I feel cheated and I haven't even paid my $7.

5 laps on the track to reverse the thumping that feet is doing on the ground as my knees wobble tremble sporadically. A quick tour to the locker room to gawk at the sauna and steam room. I Tlthink those are the right names for the different rooms. It's hotter than, insert word of your choice again,in both. Then outside to watch the waves as 2 young white men provide us with a whole diffeeent experience.

Boy 1: Go FSU. I was wearing an FSU tshirt.
Me: WOO
Boy 2: Go Noles
Boy 1: Come get in.
Us: No, we are headed home.
Boy 1: I need a partner.
Me: You have one. I point to boy 2.
Boy 2: You got me... smiles at boy 1
Boy 1: I don't like swimming with gay people.
Her (puts arm around me): We're together.
Them: ?%#%& huh?
Boy 1: Well, what if we all swim together?
Me: Where are your parents? How old are you? Like 5?
Boy 1: 5... I'm 17.
Boy 2 (in a slower voice): I'm 17 too.
Me: 17 is like 5 to me.
The rest of the talking is done by them as we laugh histerically like schoolgirls secretly flattered and mortified at the same time and eventually leave the pool area.

Boy 1: I know how to treat my woman. My dad taught me to go for older women. The water is getting cold. I need you to get in to heat it up. Come on, get in.
Boy 2: Yeah, it's cold.

We exit the building after I pay my $7. I no longer feel cheated. I definitely had a Premier experience.

~Reel Moments~

Something New (2006)

Edmond McQueen (Earl Billings): The point is, love is an adventure, Kenya. It's not a decision you make for others. It's a decision you make from your heart. Anyway, the boy's just white, he ain't a martian.

Sommore: But I ain't never dated a white man before. Not that I'm not attracted to white men. Oh, cause there's some fine looking white men in here. But my only problem with the white man is that ya'll don't know how to break up with a woman. I watch the crime channel. You date him, you come up missin', don't cha? Everybody be looking for you. You be chopped up in the freezer in the sandwich bags, with a barbeque sign on your head.

When I like it, I do it in excess.

II have said this so much in the past 24 hours, but it has been one of the stories if my life. 

That statement is my way of owning up to things that may not be super productive... mainly to others, but I know when I've gotten out of hand. Something that immediately comes to mind is playing games. There is something about them that grabs me by the neck and pins me down for hours on end. I asume it started as a kid (not sure) and it has just stuck with me. I enjoy all types of games... Board, video, card, sports, puzzle, saturday morning cartoon, street, and computer games. I haven't found a game that I truly disliked. I'm usually the one that suggest playing them. I'm usually the one that will play until the end or way beyond the end. I'm usually the one that plays a single player game and gets yelled at for ignoring people in the room. My love of games also tends to flow over into other parts of my life and threatens to disrupt it. It usually doesn't succeed, but definitely bruises the surface.

Yesterday, i ended the day by playing Pairs of pears and rummykub with friends. Earlier that day, I took myself off the year and a half phone punishment i've been on and bought a mytouch slide for my birthday.

Electronics are just like games for me. When I find one I like, I use it in excess. The fussing started early in the night and showed up unannounced a few different times. Like I said earlier, it never completely disrupts my life, just bruises it. I am usually able to bring everything back to normal. I would also like to think that i can multi-task pretty well.... except when something is really pulling my attention. When it came to our conversation yesterday, the phone won over and over. I had to put it away before it ruined friendships. It was also going dead and that didn't help my desire to play with battery reducing programs.

I haven't figured out if blogging, competition, or staying connected is the draw to what I do here. I just finished our 2nd annual blog a day in may competion and am about to join another one that resumes for the remainder of the summer. Visit Pocket Susan for more info on this challenge. I will update my Blog Challenge page soon with more info.

Anyway, I have quite a few things that I truly enjoy doing a lot. I think it is great that I am able to commit wholeheartedly to doing. Yeah, blah blah blah right time and right place. Commitment is a desirable trait no matter what anyone says. (Smile)

All jokes aside...
Do what you love and love what you do. That way you can have some amunition when people try to stop you. Don't let it disrupt your life, but a little bruise here and there can be patched up like new.

What are some things you do in excess or more importantly, who else has noticed?

Stop Thinking... Just Do It

My summer has begun completelty different from lst year. I was spending the majority of my time working on something or other and talking about plans for fun things over the summer.  I ended the summer having done 1 of the things that I had planned and was not super bummer about it. I didn't have the chance to do that at ll this year.  Circumstances influenced me to take some time to do nothing. Nothing including sleepin late, frequent teips to some of my favorite places, more hanging out with people I care about, and the beginning to a wonderful wonderful summer.

Before I talk about this summer, I will say that I'm not a huge fan of summer.  I don't hate it or anything, I'm just not an OMG I can's wait for the summer to come type of person.  The heat is sometimes excrutiting, I tend to do things I want (ok, sometimes) throughout the year, and the summer doesn't bring an extended  vacation because of the type of work I did. It is just another series of days to me.

With that said, I think I have grown to think that summer is indeed the time that I am supposed to enter some exciting, never before chartered territory that ultimately sends me into a coma of out of this world pleasure. Well, I have done exactly that.. ok, I am obviously not in a com (Thank God), but I am havin a great summer so far.

I have spent quite some time enjoying life instead these last coupld of weeks and I plan to do more in the coming weeks.  I have also began my journey to other locations.  First being Destin for the day with Adam.  We went to what the websites and window signs claim to be the largest outlet mall in America.  Shopping was wonderful, the day was beautiful, the pizza not so much, and the peanut butter fudge brownie in vanilla custard dessert was freaking phenomenal.  Adam bought some pretty cool shirts and I bought a sweet purple flowered headband. I looked at some other things I liked, but decided that I wasn't stoked about anything except my headband even thought I tried on some great outfits. 

I am currently in the great flourishing establishment of Floral City. Ok, it isn't really thriving, but I am having a good time. A couple of weeks ago, Alan mentioned thato I could chill at his house for a couple days if I wanted. I was all for it especially since there were open days on my schedule. I didn't know what I was getting into, but that is a part of living. I was welcomed with wonderful welcomes and a spaghetti dinner. The table was set for me and all was good with my belly. We talked until almost midnight about family, history, culture, eating, rights of passage, struggles, and diversity. It was great. It made me think of my family and how grateful I am for the time we spend together.
Later on, I was approached with a cake that read Happy Birthday Regina! There are no words for what I felt. This will have to suffice. Thank you for making my life more wonderful at a time when I relly needed it.
I never expext anything from anyone. I just want to know that there are people that care that I exist and maybe even love me. I am grateful for everything that I get, but this brought a different feeling for me. a feeling of unwavering respect. These people took time out of their lives to create something for me before they met me. I know they love Alan and that is probably where some of the motivation came from, but welcoming me into their home is super wonderful by itself. The cake blew me away. I am honored to know
such wonderful people.

Alan and I went to one of my all time faorite plplaces and had a blast all day and all nightAlan pointed to a sign with a funny saying and my eyes lit up. Sex and the City slot machines. How freaking fantastic is that?.bad idea to play it though. It took $70 from me within the first hour. I ended up at a machine that rewarded me for my patience in the end. I would like to think that I chose wisely. Really though... I just got lucky. i spent another series of hours driving, sleeping, eating, movie watching, talking, eating, and driving some more. It has been a great couple of days.

Going to a beach, casino (2 times a charm???), and Disney has also come up over the past couple of weeks. I'm not sure where I am headed, but I'm ready for whatever.

Voting Time

The Blog-A-Day in May challenge is over. Time for Voting is now.The llinks are below. Feel feel to look at both surveys, but only vote on one.

Please vote by Sunday, June 6th  at 12pm.

Blog Participants ONLY - Only use this link if you were in the competition.

Readers ONLY - Only use this link if you were not in the competition.

Happy Voting.

Later.

Crap... This is post 100.  I was going to write something super great and I fogot until after i posted this.  Oh well.... 200, here I come.

Recovery Feels Good

Last year, I had a tragic accident that turned my life upside down. I'm not even sure there is a word to describe what I felt after it happened. I was trying my best not to mope around with puffedd up lips and saggy cheeks. things got easier as the months went on and eventually it was a thing of the past. Occasionally, I would be reminded and it would bring back feelings of stress and uneasiness. About 6 months after it happened, I gave myself a talk. Mainly to take ownership of my part in the catastrophe and also to place a little blame. At the end of the talk, I decided once and for all that it would never happen again if were to be put in the same situation.

It has been a year since it happened and today I believe I have completed recovered. Go here to read the post from last year.

If you have gone to the link, you may think I have been just a tad bit dramatic. I'm sure there are people out there that understand. Aren't there?

Anyway, moral of this story is that my OPERATING SYSTEM WAS FOUND!!!!!!!!!!

Fastlane computers has brought me back to life.

No more trips to the library to send an email, play a game, or book a flight. No more time ticking -library gives you 2 1 hour sessions a day due to high traffice volume - really? No more random people rubbing arms with me (UGH) because they have gotten too comfortable at their computer and have leaned over into my computer space. No more of that. Now don't get me wrong... I love people watching and the library is definitely a place to do that. You have children that have been tossed out until the library closes at 9 so their guardians can do anything but talk to them, homeless people sleeping, high schoolers (sometime older) trying to mack of someone (usually works with really bad line like what would you say if someone thought you were fly and that person was shy and didn't know how to approach you), people yelling about how they didn't use the computer code that they reserved with their library card number and how it is unfair for them not to get another one, and other people like me sitting and watching everyone else and inevitably being watched by someone else. How can i give all of that up? Well, I will still go to check out library books and the occasional movie or book on CD.

I'm not sure if there is a more beautiful sound right now that the sound of my computer booting up. I immediately went to check things out to see what i was working with. My hard drive was shot, so I have no personal items saved, but so what. Shift happens and you have to get over it or let it take you down. I'm not down with the latter. I soon reaized that they put in a new hard drive and reinstalled my operating system like I asked, but they did not install office software. Yes, I knew this, but did not really think about. I just wanted to get my computer fixed. Well, now I sit here formuating this post in WordPad.. My Gosh... WTC. I am going to check my computer programs at home to see if I still have the windows 07 software that I used prior to the crash of 09.

I just have to say that it feels great to be connected to the world again. people run the world (their world at least) by internet and using Wii internet or my crap phone (no use in getting internet on it) just won't cut it. so, I'm back and I'm excited. Get ready for whatever I'm bringing.

Later


~Reel Moments~

It's a Wonderful Life (1946)

George Bailey (James Stewart) Now, you listen to me! I don't want any plastics, and I don't want any ground floors, and I don't want to get married - ever - to anyone! You understand that? I want to do what I want to do. And you're... and you're...

Back to Normal...

The challenge is over.
The friendly competition banter has come to an end.
The frantic panics about whether or not I remembered to post are no more.
I am back to normal.

The domination of blog talk during meals is behind me.
The random comments about being followed by random people has stopped - (you can keep that up).
The constant reminder that I live a life of dreams (if i really let go theme) is a thing of the past.
I am back to normal.

Unlike some of my fellow competitors that are glad it's over, I am very sad. I was last year and I am sure I will be every year that we do it unless I become famous and I'm blowing this camp. No more bloging for me. Ok, maybe a little. I enjoyed the pressure to do something that I enjoy and something that keeps me connected to great people... Although I'm not quite sure about everyone.

The voting surveys are completed and will be sent to all tomorrow. One for the participants and one for the readers. The overall winner will get dinner and all category winners will get a cool litte cyber award to post on their blogs if they would like to do so. I will also post all winners for this year and last year on the Blog Challenge page (menu bar). Give it a week or so before you look for that though.

~Reel Moments~

Freedom Writers

Miep Gies: No, no, no young man. I am not a hero. No. I did what I had to do. I did it because it was the right thing to do.

The last of false dreams...

If I really let go, the sh!t would hit the fan or at least that is what my writing has been confessing for the past month.

I didn't know how the month would play out when I started writing. It did however seem to get easier as the days went on to come up with something that could make the sh!t hit the fan.
There are some post that are still in draft mode for one reason or another, but ultimately I'm sure I could talk about what I could do forever. I started to wonder more and more how helpful that was for me though. I am a total believer in dreaming, but when is enough enough? How long should you dream before an action takes place? How long should you dream if you know deep down you are never going to do those things that you are dreaming about?

As I looked back through my May posts, the common theme seemed to be going for the gusto. Going for the gusto may lead you to different people, locations, emotions, and activities, but the foundation of the letting go concept is doing it no matter what.

I think it gets interesting when you add the who, what, when, why, and where... particularly thw why.

Why do people really let go? Are they missing something? Hiding from something? Trying to create or recreate something? Trying to be something? I'm sure this list could get so much longer, but I wonder though how much of what you do when you let go is a loud cry to find yourself... or maybe the opposite. How much of it is a way to lose yourself. Definitely something to think about because we have all said I'm going to do something new or exciting or out of the box or for me at one point or another. Isn't that just like saying I'm going to let go or maybe a more accurste statemnt is... it doesn't matter what is going because I need or at least think I need to do this?

I realize now, some of which I knew before, that the idea of really letting go for me was my way to get back some things that I believe i've lost over the years. Being creative, my spontaneous nature, and freedom from society to name a few.

I do realize that if I really let go, I risk really losing myself while I'm out there looking for whatever.

Hmmm... Catch 22.

Since I'm not letting go... I will continue to be me... I will continue to dream...

However, I will not continue to have false dreams. Those dreams that you know will never come true. Not because it is impossible, but because their not yours.

~Reel Moments~

The Devil Wears Prada

Andrea: But what if this this isn't what I want? I mean, what if I don't want to live the way you live?
Miranda: Oh, don't be ridiculous, Andrea... Everyone wants this. Everyone wants to live like us.

It's International

China, Barbados, Wisconsin, New York, Mississippi, California, Florida, India, Chicago, and a million other locations in this theater... And all to see a movie about life, love, choices, friends, and authenticity.

I thought the bingo hall brought a whole mixture of different people, but Sex and the City 2 really brought people out of the woodworks (my family says that... I think I know what it means).

I'm not sure how people felt when they left (naybe some), but I know they walked into the movir with their biggest smiles and loving life. This is the only movie I have ever been to where people took pictures and wore their best getup without being on a date. It was a wonderful experience to be around such life.

I think we forget that we should be living. We pretend or settle or use someone elses rules. Occasionally, a little bit of us will seep out but we spend a lot of time doing what pleases others. Is that the way life is supposed to be. I think not.

Make your own rules! Who cares what other people are doing... Just don't go to jail for it.

~Reel Moments~

Quote from Sex and the City 2 to come. I need to see it again before I can choose a quote I reaaly like.

To Stalk or Not...

If I really let go, I would become a really live stalker of some famous people, and then the sh!t would hit the fan because yet again I would be put in jail.

There are quite a few reasons why I would do this. The reason would definitely depend on the person. I write this today because I heart (yes, i said i heart ) all things Sex and the City and the second movie came out last night. Everything about the show and movies are stalker worthy. Actresses, actors, wardrobe, locations, jobs, personal lives, etc.

I didn't find out about the series until it was off the air. I have all the episodes, although i need to replace a few, thanks to a grad I worked with in grad school. Anyway, I love it. I was STOKED when the first movie came out. I saw it in the theater 3 times and bought it first day it came out. I plan to do the same thing with # 2.

Maybe, I will post a list of other people I would stalk in the near future.

~Reel Moments~

Sex and the City

Carrie: Shut up, Shut up, Shut up, Shut up, Shut up, Shut up, Shut up

Stalk cont'd

The quote above is from one of the funniest episodes of SITC to me. Carrie passes gas for the first time in front of Big and she completely freaks out while he completely looses it. She was rolling around under the covers and was completely mortified. She got dressed and left his house with the quickness. Days later, he slips a whoopee cushion in her seat.

Last Call... No, not for alcohol.

Tonight turned out to be very informative. I walked into this drab white building (I thinks it's white) expecting about 30 people including us and a slow speaking caller. There were about 100 people there and the caller was slow during all games except speed, which makes since.

BTDub, playing bingo is not like riding a bike. I played bingo at some point in undergrad. Not religiously, but a couple times. I knew what to stamp, which sheet to use, and when to call. I was totally lost at the beginning of the night. I Walked in past all the rows of table to talk to the Head Woman In Charge. I inform her it's my first time. She says buy this (points at a paper clipped stacks of boards) and you also get a free dabber. I paid her. She was done with me, so I went to my seat.

First sound starts, I mark an entire line and call bingo along with 2 others. HWIC comes over to call out my code and caller man says not a good bingo. GREAT! Now the whole room knows i'm a first timer. Friend shows up. I send him to do what I did with the HWIC. This older lady comes back to ask if I wanted to sit by her, but she only had 1 seat available. The lady in front of me, which I later found out holds the name Kim, said she would help us out...otherwise known as... I'll make sure these idiots don't call fake bingo anymore. Kim was great. She told us which sheet to use and how to win before each game. We got the hang of it as the night progressed.

At some point, I looked around at the eclectic group of peopleband was kind of in awe. Women, men, young, old, alone, in pairs/groups, intense looking, scared looking, releaxed looking, prepared (tip cup, snacks, wet wipes, bingo bag with 12 dabbers, and multiple sheets per game), unprepared (1 dabber and 1 sheet), and people like me (smiling, looking around, asking questions, talking to friends, texting, and drinking a diet coke. It's amazing how 1 thing can bring so many different people together.

The organization putting this on also had their crap together. Snack stand, hot food, drink station, pull tabs (kinda like scratch offs, but not), people working the floor to sell extra sheets, and free popcorn. The ball caller was jacking up stuff every now and then like forgetting to call the wild number. He said it had been a while since he did late night (7-9), but overall they were on it.

Winning is fairly simple... well, if you know the rules of the game. Each game requires you to get a predetermined pattern (Big Y, 4 corners, straight line, Crazy T, coverall, etc. You get it, yell bingo, HWIC or HMIC comes over and calls out your sheet code, ball caller say that's a good bingo or that's not a good bingo (statement may differ depending on location). You split the prize for that game if multiple people get bingo.

I won 2 games by myself sending me home with a whopping 100 smackers. I spent $20 to play though.

I was a liitle anxious as we apprached the last ball call. I wanted to win the jackpot... $200. Some girl yelled as I dabbed a number leaving me with 2 left. CRAP #^&%. Maybe next time.

Yes. There will be a next time. I had fun.

I will be prepared next time though.
1. Arrive early - they have early bird bingo too.
2. Bring my supplies (bingo bag with the works -see above)
3. Set up my station before game play.
4. Release bladder before gameplay.
5. bring snacks
6. Peer pressure more friends into going.

I kept my game boards and plan to put pictures of them up as soon as I buy my camera.

Last thing.

If I really let go, I would play bingo every week, and the sh!t would hit the fan because $12.50 + adds up and the money is going to eventually run out. If only I could guarantee at least 1 win a week.

O 70, B 12, N 30

Tonight, I am venturing to new territory... Elks Lodge. I drvie past this place at least 10 times a week (prob more) and I always look at the sign that says Bingo Wed 5 & 7. Now, It should come as no surprise that I would want to go play Bingo. Yes, it is not a typical activity for people my age to do. However, I love games (video, board, single player, casino, etc)and I have been wanting to go there for at least a year now. I finally brought it up to some people and surprise surprise, I got ridiculous looks. There were 2 people that said they might be interested. I am pretty good with peer pressure -giving, not receiving- and so I went to work bringing it up whenever I could, talking about gambling in general, or how we needed to venture out and enjoy Tally. Well, by golly, we are going to play bingo tonight at 7. I need to get going or I'm going to miss the first ball.

I'm really really excited even though I know there are going to be a million or maybe just 5 elderly people completely focused and paying attention to nothing except those numbers on the sheet. I will be grateful to have 2 sidekicks to move the night along.

I am completely looking forward to bringing home the big bucks. In case you were wondering.. the running price of a night out on the town is $12.50 (ok, maybe a night inside and not on the town, but that is how much it cost). Crap, I haven't been to the ATM yet.

I have more to say, but I gotta run.

Sorry about slacking on the movie quotes lately but I have been blogging under pressure. I will hopefully start to blog under normal circumstances in the coming days.

BINGO!!!!

To Change the Clocks or Not...

If I really let go, I would find a way to change all the clocks in the world in order for my friends to hang out longer, and then the sh!t would hit the fan because the whole world or at least my circle of world would be out of wack.

As the night ticked tocked away, the yawns began and I knew it was approaching departure time... And for what? To go home and watch tv, make some last minute calls, or pass out. If the clock said something other than it is late, get your butt home... People would stay out longer. Instead, we listen to the ticks and tocks by saying our goodnights and moving our butts on home.

But while you are home putting on jammies (or not if you sleep in your B-day suit)... you are missing out on some good content. Things like random screaming about needing fries, jazz on the intercom system, random guys making air phones calls and pointing at you, and tons and tons of laughter with friends. It really can't get better than that.

Ok, maybe I just have a lot of time on my hands and want to hang out with people I like until the sun comes up.

Tonight, mission accomplished!

To Send Hate Mail or Not...

If I really let go, I would send hate mail to 4 people, and then the sh!t would hit the fan because sending hate mail usually gets you put in prison.

Here is a first draft of the letter I would send.

Dear people that I am writing hate mail to,

What the crap were you thinking when you did this? Were you thinking I hate the human race and I want them to suffer. You knew we would see it, didn't you. Pefect plan, but I bet you didn't know this was coming. Yes, we knew it would be outrageous when we decided to do it, but really... What the sh!t was this? You made me feel things that I should not feel, and I think I hate you for it. That's right... strong words for strong actions.

Also, no one has the right to waste my time or make me listen to people call mouths vagina's. I mean what do you take me for? A useless pervert or something? BTDub, there was almost no reality to it and I had to work so hard to stay focused. You mocked pieces of life that mean something to people and it wasn't even all funny. You should feel dirtier than the dirt under the deepest layer of dirt. Your parents and friends should disown you. Beware if you ever do anything like this again... Your life will become you know what. I can promise you won't be happy.

Watch your next move,
Bamboozled


Since I'm not letting go, I will not send hate mail to Shawn (Dircetor), Josh (writer) Tina, and Steve for making Date Night. Instead, I will wait to watch their movies at the dollar movie...Well, the $3.75 theater that used to be the dollar movie...

~Reel Moments~

Might as well...

Date Night

Phil: Zip your vagina
Claire: oh, no... When he says vagina, he means your mouth.

To Watch or Not...

This isn't really a sh!t hitting the fan post, although I have found out that really anything can make something hit the fan even if it isn't sh!t. Anyway, as I was watching Cashmere Mafia today on Netflix, I was thinking about all the reality tv that I watch and how it connects me to other people.

First off, I'm not really sure why I watch it or like it, but there is something about it that just keeps me coming back season after season. I don't watch all the trash that comes on, but I do have a special interest in contest reality (BB, ANTM, AR, SYTYCD) versus watch my every move reality (Brandy and Ray J, Keyshia Cole, The City) or dating reality (Brett Michaels, Flavor Flav)...although sometimes i get caught up by watching a commercial or hearing people talk about a show. That's how I fell into The Hills and The Bachelor... although, I'm not a huge fan of The Bachelorette.

Back to the point...This afternoon, I sat with 7 women and the conversation very naturally shifted to reality tv after we finished discussing the book of the month. We talked about these people as if we knew them. So many emotions and opinions came up while we talked... Disgust, happiness, betrayal, uncertainty, and loyalty among others.

My question, or maybe a better word is confusion, is why do we care? What wires us to spend so much (or maybe so little) time discussing people we don't know? Are we... envious? Bored with our lives? Looking for a little spice? looking to judge others? being entertained? confused?

I have said on multiple occasions that I really like the work of certain performers, but that I don't care about their personal lives. We have no idea what is true or not true about celebrities, and I think it is maybe a bit outrageous to wager that so-and-so is a great person because they have portrayed themselves well in public. But then, I think about reality stars (non celebrities) or reality show host and how connected I feel to some of them at the end of a season. I am totally approving or disapproving of their behavior based on how they present themselves in the media. If anything, I should trust them less because they are trying to create a reputation whereas celebrities are trying to protect theirs. Although that mey be an argument to do the opposite. I always want to believe that people are being genuine, but as soon as the show ends, someone is involved in some type of scandal.

I will say that regardless of the real reason people continue to watch trash tv, reality tv has aided in creating some friendships. I think about conversations that start out about a particular show and end up about hobbies and interests. Or how reality show viewing parties make strangers friends. You know, it is amazing how much tv impacts our lives and relationships. I for one am glad that it exist even though I could waste a good 40 hours a week watching reality tv.

To Lay Into or Not...

If I really let go,I I would lay into everyone that knowingly disrupted life and dismissed their actions as if it never happened, and them the sh!t would hit the fan because those people already probably have some type of animosity towards the world and bothering them about a dismissed whatever would probably only piss them off more... And pissing people off hardly ever ends well. I bring this up because I saw two completely different people (teenage female - maybe 20 years old and 40's somethings male) drop the subscription slips out of a magazine and not pick them up. The man kicked hid under the bookshelf and the girl looked at them and laughed. Again, this did not occur at the same time. As I sat there watching, I thought, what tells us that we shouldn't correct something that we have wronged? Then I had to address the topic of right versus wrong. Is it wrong to leave it even if you put it there? Is it right to pick it up just because you dropped it?

It's tough though because people use so many different objects, religions, and/or environments among other things to help them shape what they view as right or wrong. But...Isn't there still a consensus about property that isn't yours in a place that doesn't belong to you? I think so. I mean seriously... how much trouble is it to pick up something that you dropped? I know the subscription dropping may seem petty, but look around... people are disturbing things everywhere for no reason and no one cares. Coke in the Pepsi row at gas stations, cold items in non cold sections at the grocery store, Vogue on top of US Weekly, Butter on the counter at the self serve station at the theater, syrup on the outside of the container at IHOP.


Are we lazy or just dirty? I'm not sure I can an answer for those two people or anyone else for that matter, but it is utterly ridiculous that thix type of behavior exist. Why am I pubished (walking out of the bathroom with tissue stuck to my shoe) because you decided not to clean up your mess?

I do my best to put things back the way I found them or at least leave the items in an organized chaos.

The two people today got to me, but I think it has always bothered me. Now don't get me wrong... everything about me is not spotless. I don't expect everyone else to be either, but I think common decency obligates you to right what you've wronged.