•No Privacy Allowed•

It was just for fun when I first started. Wait, it still is so that isn't what I meant. I meant... my enjoyment of it has increased tremendously, so it is becoming a part of my life. It crosses my mind more than twice a day and I usually satisfy my curiosity at least once. Most of the time, I am disappointed because of no new advancements, but sometimes... every few days, my face lights up and my lips spread from ear to ear because the appearance has changed. There are additions and that means I can spend an unspecified amount of time flowing in the land of the living. Regardless of how much I pretend it isn't ridiculous to go back everyday, spend 5 min or 90 perusing things that only enhance the random information section of my brain... Deep down I know, I know that it is not not ridiculous. Yes, i meant to write it that way. But in my defense... uhhh... in my defense, They say (whoever they are) that learning something is better than learning nothing. Ok, you caught me, I just made that up, but it sounded good in my head. I doubt that many people will argue with me anyway.

Skipping thoughts...

I have always been a pretty private person about... well, everything. Call it being careful or paranoid. Whatever works for you, but it is just a part if who am I. Something that makes me feel protected. From what? Pain, misery, catastrophic events. That's what. The downside is that it can be a little tiring at times when deciding what to tell, who to tell, when to tell, how to tell, blah, blah, blah. When in doubt, don't. That's what I say. That's what I do. Fortunately or unfortunately, there are very few times when I am doubt. Anyway, the point is that I never tell all. I only tell what is necessary to move to the immediate next step and most likely it its the abridged version.

My thoughts in the second paragraph are difficult to live up to while having the thoughts in the first paragraph. I guess that doesn't really make sense without telling you what has become a part of my life. That is if you haven't figured it out already. Blogging. I have really come to enjoy it. I journal, so I'm good with reflection and not keeping things in. But there is just something about blogging... There is a lot about it that is so inviting to me. I wasn't to do it all the time, but i haven't been able to put my all into it because of my privacy clause.

Thoughts on the title...

My enjoyment of blogging and my need for privacy don't work well together. Whenever I pick up my pen, I mean tap on a keyboard, I filter... a lot. I write just enough to get my thought out, but not enough to let it all hang out. Like now, I'm saying that I haven't been telling all, but not saying specifically what I withheld. Here's a thought... I want to delete my filter...for blogging, not for life.

I've been debating this for about a month and have decided that I can't do it... on this blog... because I know you all. And... even if you don't come to my site as much as I go to yours, there is always that chance that you might. I can't risk you being able to blackmail me about anything. Sorry.

BUT.... Yes, there is a but. I can if I creasy another blog. I feel bad... ummm... no... trader-ish to do that, but it is my only option to truly feel free enough to write it all. People i don't know, who don't know the people I know, the things i do, the way I live. It's perfect. I go to strangers blogs pretty often and it's kind of voyeuristic, but it's also pretty great. I only know them by what they tell me. They are creating a world for me and who knows how many others. A world that doesn't necessarily change ours, but that may motivate and/or humor us as individuals.

I created a template about 2 weeks ago For my new blog and haven't gone back to edit the layout or write anything. It's almost like I'm waiting for the RIGHT thing to write, which is exactly why I started it, so I wouldn't wait. So I wouldn't filter. So I would put it all out there. So, What the crap am I waiting on?

Whenever I begin this journey, I will occasionally reflect on it here. I won't give the title or the url or the exact details, but I will be honest about what it's like to write freely about whatever, whenever, however.

I leave you with this...

Don't hold it in... Whatever it is. Happiness, sadness, confusion, excitement, contentment, craziness... Get it out in a way that satisfies you. Although, a few secrets never hu...uhhh, that's not true so I'm not going to write it.

~Reel Moments~

Julie and Julia

Julie Powell: I can write a blog. I have thoughts too.