It's time for the dreaded high school reunion. I'm really not sure why everyone always says that the reunion is the last thing they want to do. I was actually looking forward to it... okay maybe not looking forward to it, but at least not dreading it. The people excited to go to reunions are usually the ones that in high school thought they were the big stuff and delusionally believe the same thing today. Others may include people that have completely transforned in appearance, personality or potential. I guess there are also people that want to go just to hang out, but they've gotta be scarce....right?
My thoughts on reunions have changed over the years even without me conciously evaluating it. I only know that now because i am aware of my opinion, whereas before i was not. the collection of ms being equal to being stuck and not in a good way is probably what has shaped my opinion of reunions. Going back even for a couple days could mean so kuch and so littlw. I was pretty horrible at keeping in touch with my fellow classmates, with the exception of a few that went to undergrad with me for at least half the time. I was one of a few that got away. For whatever reason, a lot of them stayed in my hometown continuing school, getting a trade, working wherever, producing, marrying, and living life as they know it. Most of that was not in the cards for me... especially not in MS. I have no true judgements on them though. In my mind, some may have given up or taking the path most traveled, but i don't know their stories. Because of that, i don't think about them. My mom always said don't say anything if you have nothing nice to say.
Umfortunately, the circumstances are pushing me to do the opposite. To not only think about them, but to do it under a microscope. How are they? What are they doing? How did they do it? Who are they dating? Why are they dating them? How many people since high school? Single, married, divorced, widowed? Hetero, homo? What's next? Alive or not? Stayed home, traveled the world? It could be really exhausting ro answer the billions of questions. Lucky or us, facebook has made it extremely easy to do from the privacy of wherever you want. Facebook is also something that i reuning the idea of reunions. You go to them to catch up with people you haven't seen in 10, 20, 30+ years. Not anymore. Now, we know almost everything about almost everyone before sending in registration forms. Yes, it is still great to see people, but the excitement of the unknown was snatched from under us without us knowing how valuable it was until it was gone.
Yesterday, i spoke with an old friend from high school. Typical "we found each other" story for today.... Casually asked about each other over the years to mutual friends. No one knows anything or maybe just that they are doing ok. Both continue living life not knowing or not caring what the other is doing. Finally 10 years later, contact is made by someone suggesting you two become facebook friends. A few pokes, messages, and chat conversations later and phone numbers have been exchanged as if no time has passed. I found out that this friend had been in a car accident a while and is completely paralized on one side. He has been in a recovery facility for 3 years and still countimg the days. His day consist of therapy and whatever he wants to do between the walls of his living arrangements. I felt pity and sadness, with a side of graciousness... for me. I want to be happy that he survived, but 'm not sure if he is.
I have a couple of friends that have passed on for various reasons and I'm perplexed as to which situation is better... or worse. Being alive and paralyzed or being dead (that's a harsh word) and not... anything. Verdicts still out.
All that in mind, it makes me want to go to the reunion just a tad bit more to just see how people are doing...
but I guess not enough. I will not be going. That's why we have facebook. :l
*****Sending happy thoughts into the universe for my old friend.*****
The Invitation
3 months ago
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