~Absolutely Clueless~

Picture this....

Saturday night, dressed in your best going out clothes, teeth sparkly white, hair is perfect, car is spotless, favorite song is playing, and.......now you can stop daydreaming and pay attention to my post.

Ok, I'll be serious. This post is long, so hang in there.

I was in Borders Bookstore (BB) on Sunday. It is my go to place when I need to get out of the house, but not spend money. I am usually pretty relaxed when I'm there, unless I am playing board games with people that are being extra loud (lol). Anyway, I take my usual stroll to the new arrivals in fiction, usually skip over new arrivals in nonfiction unless I'm feeling a little risky. I pass by the "If you liked this ---> , then read this" section. You know, I never read their suggestions. Maybe I have some sort of...whatever... I roam through the miscellaneous sale section. This section stresses me out, even when I am the most relaxed I could possibly be. I still go over there and poke through all the crap knowing that I won't buy anything, except that one time when....

After poking, I went to the section I've been to the most this past couple of weeks (computers), and the same stupid book on blogging that I have already skimmed through is still the only one there. I get on the computer to look for books about book clubs. They have one in African American lit and one in literary criticism (those are really random places for book club books). I go to the self help section (which I never walk through for whatever reason) to see what's over there on my way to find the book club book. I feel really awkward immediately because there are like 10 people on this tiny aisle looking for God knows what. I politely ask the BB lady (that was staring at me) where the Literary Criticism section is She takes me there, and this is the conversation that we have.

BB lady: Are you looking for anything in particular?

R: Just browsing, thanks.

BB lady: Would you like some suggestions?

R: Ummmmmm, well

BB lady: Well, there is this great writer that critiqued some great stories of the depression. Is that something that would interest you?

R: Oh, ummmm, well

BB lady: My friend also let me borrow this book about books that you must read. Ah, here it is.

R: That sounds intriguing. I was looking for a book about starting a book club, but thanks for the suggestions.

BB lady: You’re welcome. If you need anything else, I will be wandering the store until closing time. Oh, one more thing, Are you into Sci-Fi?

R: ummmmm,well

BB lady: If you are, the front section is full of great new book.

R: Ok, great. I’ll let you know as soon as I need anything.

OMG…. She was absolutely clueless that I was thinking “Who hired you, and how can I get in touch with them so that I can whoop their…..”

Anywho, I was exhausted after talking to her, so I head to the café to find me a comfy spot. I was almost finished with The City of Bones,book one, and was ready to start the next one. Thanks Mer. I sit at a table (all the comfy chairs are taken – who gave them the right to take all the comfy chairs?), start reading and was able to block out the noise for about an hour and a half until 3 people (two males, one female) sit diagonal from me in the comfy chairs section. They were talking about what happened a couple of days ago. Who did what, when, and how… blah, blah, blah. The girl said she’d be back. They continued with the same bland conversation, and then about five mins later, one guy say “Man, this is b***s***. She’s not going for it. She must be smarter than I thought. I even tried to get her drunk. One more date, and that’s it. If she don’t”. I whipped my head up to see what happened to the volume. “She” was coming back. I felt bamboozled, but she was Absolutely Clueless. They got up and left. I sat there thinking about what she hadn’t done that she had no idea was being talked about.

Poll: What do you think she had not done yet?

It seems fitting that I would give you a quote from the movie Clueless, but I instead I leave you with a quote from Mrs. Doubtfire.

~ Oh my god! oh my god! The whole time? The whole time? THE WHOLE TIME?! I have to go. We have to leave now. We have to go. I have to leave. We have to leave.~ Miranda