Monday, May 9, 2011

Online Dating...Good Idea or Death Sentence?

So, last night the Match.com commercial that says more relationships, more marriages came on and it got me to thinking about this whole I'm going to find my soulmate or at least my next fling online. I have known many people that have ventured that way and the results are all over the place. Some have loved it... Some have not understood it... Some have hated it... Some have been hurt by it... And some have strong opinions about it, but haven't actually tried it.

I will save my personal opinion about the topic for a little later, but I do have some questions and observations that I would like to share.

What makes someone decide to go to a website that is specifically for dating? Do they it's going to be a positive situation or a negative situation when before they sign up? What type of information do you give out during your first go at your profile? How long do you spend on the site the first time? Do you peruse the site for mates the first time or do you wait to be matched?

Do you put your all out there on the first person or do you wait until you've met a few different people? How do you decide who is telling you the truth? How can you tell who is lying? What do you talk about once you've made a connection? How do you know when it's time to love forward? What does moving to fast look like? What if you're interested in someone that isn't interested in you? What if it's the other way around? How do you say, sorry not going to work out?

When do you go on the first date? How do you decide who gets a second date? Do you introduce them to your friends? How do you tell your family? What do you tell your family and what will they say?

Do you let it turn into a relationship? Does the way you met make things worse or better after you've been in a relationship for a while?

Is meeting someone online for the first time the same as meeting someone in person for the first time? Does it have the same effect? Can you love that person just as much? Does it make you weak or strong for looking online?

What happens if it doesn't work out? Is it your fault?Is it their fault? Is it the companies fault? What if it's harmful? What if it's deadly? What if it miss you feel less loved than you felt in the beginning? What if it gets your hopes your hopes up over and over again, but there's never a connection? What if you never get a match? What if you get married and it ends terribly? What if it was the best choice you ever made? What if you have beautiful babies? What if your family falls in love with them? What if you live happily ever after?

So many questions and there millions more. Online dating has always been a bit of a mystery to me. I've gone to the sites and created profiles, but I've never paid for a subscription. I dating a guy for almost 2 years starting my senior year of high school that I met on Collegeclub. He went to Air Force towards the end if my freshmen year in college, so it just didn't last. Not a horrible breakup, just too much space in between us. So, I guess it dos work to a certain extent. I wasn't willing to move where he was going and I'm not even sure if he would have invited me. We talked on the phone and wrote letters for a while and then it just kind of died down. C'est la vie.

So, other than that situation over 10 years ago, I haven't actually done any online dating. I meet guys fairly often, but they are never my type. Some people say there are all types of people online so maybe it's the place to look since i'm not meeting Mr. right now...right now. ;). I'll probably never pay for a subscription though and eharmony only does so many free communication weekends.

I don't know...I just don't feel connected and confident enough in the process. Too many people I know have had horrible experiences and only a few that have had positive experiences. Of those few, 2 have married the person they met online. it just seems so impersonal and awkward to me, but go for it if it works for you. It's like deciding to look online can be a celebration or literally a funeral. Hopefully, very few end in the latter, but the reality is that the Internet is available to all types of people. You have to be careful who you're typing to...you just might invite a sex offender home. Jokes and questions aside, it's a really interested topic to me.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic and experiences if you have any or if you know of any.

1 comments:

LuminouzFlame said...

Even though MJ and I had met through Lucas, our relationship kind of developed via FB messages. Does that count? LOL When I see those commercials I ALWAYS wonder, what if we both got on there and created profiles, would they match us up? You have a lot of relevant questions.

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