A Life Deprived Of Greatness

I was visiting a website that Julia apparently visits frequently looking for recipes to make. I can across a post entitled For The Love of Peanut Butter and a smile instantly appeared on my face. Maybe even a flutter of the heart. The Brown Eyed Baker (I'm going to call her BEB in this post) has encountered some of the same issues that I have and I am ecstatic about it. I would never wish this on anyone, but I unfortunately get really excited when I know others that go through similar issues.

A little background info....

At 16, my ex stepmother was sure that I was sexing up the whole neighborhood, so I had to get birth control. Every type they gave me broke me out in gumball sized bumps. There are two sizes of gumballs (I'm sure there may be more) and it was more like the smaller size. It was absolutely miserable when they would pop up. 100 times worse than chicken pox. Birth control is suppose to protect you, not almost kill you. Well, I lived, so good for you lucky birth control companies.

At the wonderful age of 21 - My mom surprised me by booking us a room at The Golden Moon Casino. This was not my first time going to a casino (that was 18), but it was my first time spending the night a one. I had great plans for late night table hopping, lever pulling, bonus round playing, a couple of free drinks and maybe even a go at one of the two dance clubs. Everyone needs a dance party every once in a while. Anyway, that so did not happen. We went to eat dinner and I had a plate piled high with seafood - fried shrimp, shrimp alfredo, crablegs and the list goes on and on. Mom and I were laughing, talking and planning the rest of the evening and then I couldn't breathe. I have no recollection of anything until the bed. Apparently I turned all shades of purple, my eyes That's what mom said. We were down on a reservation with God knows what kind of hospitals and I was on the verge of dying or something. Anyway, I lived. I remember one time I went to eat Thanksgiving dinner at someones house and I started choking, itching and gasping for air. I took a benadryl and ended up being ok, but I didn't really know what happened. Apparently there was shrimp in the dressing. Who does that? It was pretty darn tasty though.

Somewhere between 22 and 23, I had a reaction to a banana. My throat got really scratchy and I wanted to stick my hand b ack there and go at it. It was also really dry and starting to close up. After that, it happened with apples, oranges, kiwi and one of my all time favs Mango. Who the crap is allergic to Mango? I still have pineapple though. Sometimes it sucks to not be able to eat fruit, especially when I got to meetings that have fruit pizza that everyone is devouring. I've never eaten eat, so I guess I can't miss it. Again, I lived.

There are quite a few other things that I have become allergic to along the years, but you get the point. I'm like a walking deathtrap, but I have coped over the years. It is always first 6 months that are the hardest right after finding out and then all is well again.

After reading BEB's post, I am motivated to go to an allergists. I have thought about it before, but decided against it since I had come to terms with not eating certain things. But man, it would make like so much easier and a little more enjoyable if I could eat some of my favorite things again.

The part that freaks me out is that she had to try the things she was allergic to after the tests and it wasn't a guarantee that she wasn't allergic anymore. I'm definitely not going to do it soon because of fear , but I may eventually try it. Maybe I can go and just get an assessment or something and they can tell me how the process works.

Regardless of what I end up doing, I am motivated. Thanks BEB.

Side Note: Mom just recently became allergic to nuts. She was relatively ok with it at first. She couldn't eat snickers (one of her fav candy bars), brownie with nuts and maybe a couple other things. It was a change, but not a gigantic deal. Nope, so wrong. More recently she read an ice cream container after having a similar reaction to me and fruit and the box said something along the lines of "made it a nut factory". Oh, life has now officially ended. She has not and will not come to terms with her life without ice cream... So she keeps her purse stocked with Benadryl and goes on about her day and nights with ice cream. I think there may be a few types that are safe for her, but I'm not sure. Mom, be careful.

Well, I guess that's enough allergy talk. I am headed to the store to buy ingredients to make cookies for a shindig tonight. I hope no one is allergic to them. You can bank on them not having shellfish, fruit or birth control in them, but maybe a little benadryl.

~Reel Moments~

Hitch

Hitch: Because thats what people do... they leap and hope to God they can fly! Because otherwise, we just drop like a rock... wondering the whole way down..."why in the hell did I jump?" But here I am Sarah, falling. And there's only one person that makes me feel like I can fly... That's you.

Isn't it suppose to flash¿

On Tuesday, I almost hit a city bus.

I was so close that I swerved w/o looking in the other lane.

After my heart rate slowed to a decent pace, I began to replay the situation, It went like this in my head...

~Driving thinking about how nice it was outside
~looking at buildings (some nice, some not so nice)
~Still driving
~Oh S**t
~Swerve
~Whoo Whoo Whoo (that's me breathing)
~Ok, great... I'm alive
~.........
~..............
That was it. Somewhere along the way some memories, nightmares or something should have been playing in my head... but nooo, just me thinking about my life not flashing before my eyes.

I was cheated... or maybe I'm really not living.

WTC???

WTF

Fantastic Moves!!!

Wow!!!

Random thoughts that were triggered from a book i've read...

I think men...believe they run things. I believe that men hide under statements like "society teaches men not to show their feelings". I think that some men will cheat if given the opportunity... not because they want to, but because they can. I believe that men place blame on their women when they mess up by saying things like "she complains all the d**n time", "she has let herself go and doesn't care anymore", and "I can't help it because I'm a man" instead of owning it and saying " I screwed up" or "I don't love her anymore, but it's cheaper to keep her". Yeah, it may hurt to say/hear those things... but it's better for both people in the end.

I think women... confuse insecurity for strength. I think that women settle. I think that women ruin their own lives by believing they can change people (you can't, stop trying to do it), by ignoring things that bother them (it will only bother you more after you make larger commitments to each other, and by not completely knowing who they are as individuals (how can you tell a partner what you want if you don't know what you want).

I think life... can be simple and exciting if you let it be.


~Reel Moments~

The Break-Up

Gary: Is that how you want to play it? Cause I'll play it like that. I'll play it like Lionel Richie, all night long, lady. Oh yeah. I'll call some guys from my neck of the woods. And we're not talking about, Brooke, about a couple of queens who know a few grapples. We're talking about Polacks that don't have a goddamn future. That's right. We can make shit real uncomfortable around here, and that's what we're going to do.

Today is a great day for me... and random updates.

I have been waiting for weeks and weeks and weeks and finally the day has come. Big Brother starts tonight. I have watched all 10 seasons. I have no idea why I am so drawn to this show, but I am. It is like top model for me, but worse. Seriously, its bad. It's so bad that I usually pay for online subscription to watch at any time. It would also come on from 10 - midnight (I think that's the right time) on showtime. I would watch every night. Most of the time, it is just showing people walking around the house, eating, sleeping, talking... nothing really interesting, but I stayed up every night to watch it. So anyway, I am super excited. I will head home, cook some dinner, prop my feet up, and enjoy the show.

Other random updates about past posts.

So you think you can dance is well on its way to ending. How sad. However, this has been a pretty great season. There are some performances that I will never forget and some performances that I don't want to remember. Anyway, a while back, I posted my picks. Here is an update of eliminations and where my leaderboard stands.

So far, I think I've done pretty well with my picks. I have not lost any of my tops yet. I'm going to keep my fingers crossed.

Women

Randi ~ Melissa ~ Kayla ~ Caitlin ~ Jeanine ~ Asuka 3rd elimination show ~ Janette ~ Ashley 2nd elimination show ~ Karla 4th elimination show

Men

Evan ~ Brandon ~ Ade ~ Jason ~ Max 2nd elimination show ~ Phillip ~ Kupono ~ Vitolio 4th elimination show ~ Jonathan 3rd elimination show

My Top 6 are still in the game

Randi ~ Evan ~ Brandon ~ Caitlyn ~ Jason ~ Jeanine

The Bachelorette

This show has been nothing but drama. Guys are too young, jeolous, have girfriends, there for the wrong reasons, and so on. Jillian has been playing the game, but who know how she truly feels. She is down to the final 4 guys. It's getting pretty intense. I like the guys that she has left, but I don't think that "her guy" is there. It still makes for good television.

Well, I guess those are all my updates on my reality TV addictions.


~Reel Moments~

The Truman Show
Marlon: Where the hell's Fiji? Near Florida?

To post or not to post.... about Mike Jack

I have been debating this for a while. People are talking about it so much, and I kind of want to forget. Last night, after the crazy storm, Janet came on stage and said "to you he's an icon, but to us he's family". I was thinking about how true that was. He is an icon to me and that is why it is okay to talk about him. That is why I finally decided, what the hey "I loved that man's music, so why shouldn't I express myself somehow.

I'm not sure what I could say that would be any different from what millions of other people have said. I'm not even sure I wanted to post this because I had something creative, new, and/or great to say. I just came to a point where I felt like I was a traitor for not talking about it more, for not going somewhere in his memory, for not mourning. BTW, I think it is a little weird to mourn someone you don't know.

People have been celebrating his life since he passed away, but is that truly any different from mourning his death? I would have originally said it was, but the symptoms are the same. In mourning, people would have done tributes, told stories, cried, played his music all day every day, consoled the family, and reached out to his friends ultimately showing how much he meant to them. I think the only difference is that everyone isn't crying all the time. It comes in spurts.

I thought that rambling a little would allow me to think about what I wanted to write, but no. So........ I'm just going to say that Michael was amazing at his job. I take that back, he was freaking fantastic at what he did. What exactly did he do? Motivate the world to be a better place, tell people of all colors that they were loved, allow people to express themselves and be understood through music??? Who knows what he did for everybody? I'm not even sure that matters. I do know that for a million different reasons, Michael will be remembered forever and that is all that really matters.

He is one of my favorite songs of all time. Enjoy!