Where are they now?

It's time for the dreaded high school reunion. I'm really not sure why everyone always says that the reunion is the last thing they want to do. I was actually looking forward to it... okay maybe not looking forward to it, but at least not dreading it. The people excited to go to reunions are usually the ones that in high school thought they were the big stuff and delusionally believe the same thing today. Others may include people that have completely transforned in appearance, personality or potential. I guess there are also people that want to go just to hang out, but they've gotta be scarce....right?

My thoughts on reunions have changed over the years even without me conciously evaluating it. I only know that now because i am aware of my opinion, whereas before i was not. the collection of ms being equal to being stuck and not in a good way is probably what has shaped my opinion of reunions. Going back even for a couple days could mean so kuch and so littlw. I was pretty horrible at keeping in touch with my fellow classmates, with the exception of a few that went to undergrad with me for at least half the time. I was one of a few that got away. For whatever reason, a lot of them stayed in my hometown continuing school, getting a trade, working wherever, producing, marrying, and living life as they know it. Most of that was not in the cards for me... especially not in MS. I have no true judgements on them though. In my mind, some may have given up or taking the path most traveled, but i don't know their stories. Because of that, i don't think about them. My mom always said don't say anything if you have nothing nice to say.

Umfortunately, the circumstances are pushing me to do the opposite. To not only think about them, but to do it under a microscope. How are they? What are they doing? How did they do it? Who are they dating? Why are they dating them? How many people since high school? Single, married, divorced, widowed? Hetero, homo? What's next? Alive or not? Stayed home, traveled the world? It could be really exhausting ro answer the billions of questions. Lucky or us, facebook has made it extremely easy to do from the privacy of wherever you want. Facebook is also something that i reuning the idea of reunions. You go to them to catch up with people you haven't seen in 10, 20, 30+ years. Not anymore. Now, we know almost everything about almost everyone before sending in registration forms. Yes, it is still great to see people, but the excitement of the unknown was snatched from under us without us knowing how valuable it was until it was gone.

Yesterday, i spoke with an old friend from high school. Typical "we found each other" story for today.... Casually asked about each other over the years to mutual friends. No one knows anything or maybe just that they are doing ok. Both continue living life not knowing or not caring what the other is doing. Finally 10 years later, contact is made by someone suggesting you two become facebook friends. A few pokes, messages, and chat conversations later and phone numbers have been exchanged as if no time has passed. I found out that this friend had been in a car accident a while and is completely paralized on one side. He has been in a recovery facility for 3 years and still countimg the days. His day consist of therapy and whatever he wants to do between the walls of his living arrangements. I felt pity and sadness, with a side of graciousness... for me. I want to be happy that he survived, but 'm not sure if he is.

I have a couple of friends that have passed on for various reasons and I'm perplexed as to which situation is better... or worse. Being alive and paralyzed or being dead (that's a harsh word) and not... anything. Verdicts still out.

All that in mind, it makes me want to go to the reunion just a tad bit more to just see how people are doing...
but I guess not enough. I will not be going. That's why we have facebook. :l

*****Sending happy thoughts into the universe for my old friend.*****

Premier Experience

At first glance, this place looks like an insurance company or some type of legit office building to me.

As I was searching for the gym today, I realized I was wrong. The office building is actually a big monster size gym, which is rightfully named Premier. I had already built up my pessimistic attitude about joining after looking at the membership fees online, but figured I could go once as a $7 guest and then be on my way to $14.99 a month no contract membership to Gold's.

Upon arrival, I played find Regina with the checkin trainer. You know when you are walking somewhere and someone is headed straight towards you and you both move to the same side 3 or 10 times at the same time until you both decide to be completely still at the same time... It was a little like that except a plant was our barrier. Anywho... I filled out some papers and off we went to the, insert word of your choice, world of yoga.

I own a yoga mat. Bought it for my Wii. Used it a few times. Forgot it when I decide to do real live yoga. So, i'm stuck with a used mat or the sweaty hardwood floor.
The instructor is ready to begin after everyone is situated with knee pads, butt pads, and yoga mats. We do typical poses like sun salutations and half Moon. Lunges and stretches and planks and more strechets and look behind you and dog walk it too the left and find your, insert word i couldn't understand that i think means center, and splits and downward facing dog and and and...

And then one last twist stretch 50 minutes later, which i do quite often at home to pop my back. It makes me feel like this.

Then she instructs us to lie back and close our eyes. The music that was faint before is now donging in my ear...in my body. I try to tune it out and just relax. Somehow those dongs become pieces of my life...time, memories, plans, nonplans... I try to block it out once stumore, but no luck. I have become one with the dongs, so I enbrace them and every thought that accompanies them. I hear something...maybe not...well...what...open your eyes, what is going on....what...oh, she wants us to get up... WTC. Ok, fine.

UMMMMMMMMM. This is how I feel.

I have also re-entered the noisy world with clanging weigts, shoes beating up the ground, and random murmurs of conversation. Please bring the dongs back.

And it is over. She bids us a good night. I feel cheated and I haven't even paid my $7.

5 laps on the track to reverse the thumping that feet is doing on the ground as my knees wobble tremble sporadically. A quick tour to the locker room to gawk at the sauna and steam room. I Tlthink those are the right names for the different rooms. It's hotter than, insert word of your choice again,in both. Then outside to watch the waves as 2 young white men provide us with a whole diffeeent experience.

Boy 1: Go FSU. I was wearing an FSU tshirt.
Me: WOO
Boy 2: Go Noles
Boy 1: Come get in.
Us: No, we are headed home.
Boy 1: I need a partner.
Me: You have one. I point to boy 2.
Boy 2: You got me... smiles at boy 1
Boy 1: I don't like swimming with gay people.
Her (puts arm around me): We're together.
Them: ?%#%& huh?
Boy 1: Well, what if we all swim together?
Me: Where are your parents? How old are you? Like 5?
Boy 1: 5... I'm 17.
Boy 2 (in a slower voice): I'm 17 too.
Me: 17 is like 5 to me.
The rest of the talking is done by them as we laugh histerically like schoolgirls secretly flattered and mortified at the same time and eventually leave the pool area.

Boy 1: I know how to treat my woman. My dad taught me to go for older women. The water is getting cold. I need you to get in to heat it up. Come on, get in.
Boy 2: Yeah, it's cold.

We exit the building after I pay my $7. I no longer feel cheated. I definitely had a Premier experience.

~Reel Moments~

Something New (2006)

Edmond McQueen (Earl Billings): The point is, love is an adventure, Kenya. It's not a decision you make for others. It's a decision you make from your heart. Anyway, the boy's just white, he ain't a martian.

Sommore: But I ain't never dated a white man before. Not that I'm not attracted to white men. Oh, cause there's some fine looking white men in here. But my only problem with the white man is that ya'll don't know how to break up with a woman. I watch the crime channel. You date him, you come up missin', don't cha? Everybody be looking for you. You be chopped up in the freezer in the sandwich bags, with a barbeque sign on your head.

When I like it, I do it in excess.

II have said this so much in the past 24 hours, but it has been one of the stories if my life. 

That statement is my way of owning up to things that may not be super productive... mainly to others, but I know when I've gotten out of hand. Something that immediately comes to mind is playing games. There is something about them that grabs me by the neck and pins me down for hours on end. I asume it started as a kid (not sure) and it has just stuck with me. I enjoy all types of games... Board, video, card, sports, puzzle, saturday morning cartoon, street, and computer games. I haven't found a game that I truly disliked. I'm usually the one that suggest playing them. I'm usually the one that will play until the end or way beyond the end. I'm usually the one that plays a single player game and gets yelled at for ignoring people in the room. My love of games also tends to flow over into other parts of my life and threatens to disrupt it. It usually doesn't succeed, but definitely bruises the surface.

Yesterday, i ended the day by playing Pairs of pears and rummykub with friends. Earlier that day, I took myself off the year and a half phone punishment i've been on and bought a mytouch slide for my birthday.

Electronics are just like games for me. When I find one I like, I use it in excess. The fussing started early in the night and showed up unannounced a few different times. Like I said earlier, it never completely disrupts my life, just bruises it. I am usually able to bring everything back to normal. I would also like to think that i can multi-task pretty well.... except when something is really pulling my attention. When it came to our conversation yesterday, the phone won over and over. I had to put it away before it ruined friendships. It was also going dead and that didn't help my desire to play with battery reducing programs.

I haven't figured out if blogging, competition, or staying connected is the draw to what I do here. I just finished our 2nd annual blog a day in may competion and am about to join another one that resumes for the remainder of the summer. Visit Pocket Susan for more info on this challenge. I will update my Blog Challenge page soon with more info.

Anyway, I have quite a few things that I truly enjoy doing a lot. I think it is great that I am able to commit wholeheartedly to doing. Yeah, blah blah blah right time and right place. Commitment is a desirable trait no matter what anyone says. (Smile)

All jokes aside...
Do what you love and love what you do. That way you can have some amunition when people try to stop you. Don't let it disrupt your life, but a little bruise here and there can be patched up like new.

What are some things you do in excess or more importantly, who else has noticed?

Stop Thinking... Just Do It

My summer has begun completelty different from lst year. I was spending the majority of my time working on something or other and talking about plans for fun things over the summer.  I ended the summer having done 1 of the things that I had planned and was not super bummer about it. I didn't have the chance to do that at ll this year.  Circumstances influenced me to take some time to do nothing. Nothing including sleepin late, frequent teips to some of my favorite places, more hanging out with people I care about, and the beginning to a wonderful wonderful summer.

Before I talk about this summer, I will say that I'm not a huge fan of summer.  I don't hate it or anything, I'm just not an OMG I can's wait for the summer to come type of person.  The heat is sometimes excrutiting, I tend to do things I want (ok, sometimes) throughout the year, and the summer doesn't bring an extended  vacation because of the type of work I did. It is just another series of days to me.

With that said, I think I have grown to think that summer is indeed the time that I am supposed to enter some exciting, never before chartered territory that ultimately sends me into a coma of out of this world pleasure. Well, I have done exactly that.. ok, I am obviously not in a com (Thank God), but I am havin a great summer so far.

I have spent quite some time enjoying life instead these last coupld of weeks and I plan to do more in the coming weeks.  I have also began my journey to other locations.  First being Destin for the day with Adam.  We went to what the websites and window signs claim to be the largest outlet mall in America.  Shopping was wonderful, the day was beautiful, the pizza not so much, and the peanut butter fudge brownie in vanilla custard dessert was freaking phenomenal.  Adam bought some pretty cool shirts and I bought a sweet purple flowered headband. I looked at some other things I liked, but decided that I wasn't stoked about anything except my headband even thought I tried on some great outfits. 

I am currently in the great flourishing establishment of Floral City. Ok, it isn't really thriving, but I am having a good time. A couple of weeks ago, Alan mentioned thato I could chill at his house for a couple days if I wanted. I was all for it especially since there were open days on my schedule. I didn't know what I was getting into, but that is a part of living. I was welcomed with wonderful welcomes and a spaghetti dinner. The table was set for me and all was good with my belly. We talked until almost midnight about family, history, culture, eating, rights of passage, struggles, and diversity. It was great. It made me think of my family and how grateful I am for the time we spend together.
Later on, I was approached with a cake that read Happy Birthday Regina! There are no words for what I felt. This will have to suffice. Thank you for making my life more wonderful at a time when I relly needed it.
I never expext anything from anyone. I just want to know that there are people that care that I exist and maybe even love me. I am grateful for everything that I get, but this brought a different feeling for me. a feeling of unwavering respect. These people took time out of their lives to create something for me before they met me. I know they love Alan and that is probably where some of the motivation came from, but welcoming me into their home is super wonderful by itself. The cake blew me away. I am honored to know
such wonderful people.

Alan and I went to one of my all time faorite plplaces and had a blast all day and all nightAlan pointed to a sign with a funny saying and my eyes lit up. Sex and the City slot machines. How freaking fantastic is that?.bad idea to play it though. It took $70 from me within the first hour. I ended up at a machine that rewarded me for my patience in the end. I would like to think that I chose wisely. Really though... I just got lucky. i spent another series of hours driving, sleeping, eating, movie watching, talking, eating, and driving some more. It has been a great couple of days.

Going to a beach, casino (2 times a charm???), and Disney has also come up over the past couple of weeks. I'm not sure where I am headed, but I'm ready for whatever.

Voting Time

The Blog-A-Day in May challenge is over. Time for Voting is now.The llinks are below. Feel feel to look at both surveys, but only vote on one.

Please vote by Sunday, June 6th  at 12pm.

Blog Participants ONLY - Only use this link if you were in the competition.

Readers ONLY - Only use this link if you were not in the competition.

Happy Voting.

Later.

Crap... This is post 100.  I was going to write something super great and I fogot until after i posted this.  Oh well.... 200, here I come.

Recovery Feels Good

Last year, I had a tragic accident that turned my life upside down. I'm not even sure there is a word to describe what I felt after it happened. I was trying my best not to mope around with puffedd up lips and saggy cheeks. things got easier as the months went on and eventually it was a thing of the past. Occasionally, I would be reminded and it would bring back feelings of stress and uneasiness. About 6 months after it happened, I gave myself a talk. Mainly to take ownership of my part in the catastrophe and also to place a little blame. At the end of the talk, I decided once and for all that it would never happen again if were to be put in the same situation.

It has been a year since it happened and today I believe I have completed recovered. Go here to read the post from last year.

If you have gone to the link, you may think I have been just a tad bit dramatic. I'm sure there are people out there that understand. Aren't there?

Anyway, moral of this story is that my OPERATING SYSTEM WAS FOUND!!!!!!!!!!

Fastlane computers has brought me back to life.

No more trips to the library to send an email, play a game, or book a flight. No more time ticking -library gives you 2 1 hour sessions a day due to high traffice volume - really? No more random people rubbing arms with me (UGH) because they have gotten too comfortable at their computer and have leaned over into my computer space. No more of that. Now don't get me wrong... I love people watching and the library is definitely a place to do that. You have children that have been tossed out until the library closes at 9 so their guardians can do anything but talk to them, homeless people sleeping, high schoolers (sometime older) trying to mack of someone (usually works with really bad line like what would you say if someone thought you were fly and that person was shy and didn't know how to approach you), people yelling about how they didn't use the computer code that they reserved with their library card number and how it is unfair for them not to get another one, and other people like me sitting and watching everyone else and inevitably being watched by someone else. How can i give all of that up? Well, I will still go to check out library books and the occasional movie or book on CD.

I'm not sure if there is a more beautiful sound right now that the sound of my computer booting up. I immediately went to check things out to see what i was working with. My hard drive was shot, so I have no personal items saved, but so what. Shift happens and you have to get over it or let it take you down. I'm not down with the latter. I soon reaized that they put in a new hard drive and reinstalled my operating system like I asked, but they did not install office software. Yes, I knew this, but did not really think about. I just wanted to get my computer fixed. Well, now I sit here formuating this post in WordPad.. My Gosh... WTC. I am going to check my computer programs at home to see if I still have the windows 07 software that I used prior to the crash of 09.

I just have to say that it feels great to be connected to the world again. people run the world (their world at least) by internet and using Wii internet or my crap phone (no use in getting internet on it) just won't cut it. so, I'm back and I'm excited. Get ready for whatever I'm bringing.

Later


~Reel Moments~

It's a Wonderful Life (1946)

George Bailey (James Stewart) Now, you listen to me! I don't want any plastics, and I don't want any ground floors, and I don't want to get married - ever - to anyone! You understand that? I want to do what I want to do. And you're... and you're...

Back to Normal...

The challenge is over.
The friendly competition banter has come to an end.
The frantic panics about whether or not I remembered to post are no more.
I am back to normal.

The domination of blog talk during meals is behind me.
The random comments about being followed by random people has stopped - (you can keep that up).
The constant reminder that I live a life of dreams (if i really let go theme) is a thing of the past.
I am back to normal.

Unlike some of my fellow competitors that are glad it's over, I am very sad. I was last year and I am sure I will be every year that we do it unless I become famous and I'm blowing this camp. No more bloging for me. Ok, maybe a little. I enjoyed the pressure to do something that I enjoy and something that keeps me connected to great people... Although I'm not quite sure about everyone.

The voting surveys are completed and will be sent to all tomorrow. One for the participants and one for the readers. The overall winner will get dinner and all category winners will get a cool litte cyber award to post on their blogs if they would like to do so. I will also post all winners for this year and last year on the Blog Challenge page (menu bar). Give it a week or so before you look for that though.

~Reel Moments~

Freedom Writers

Miep Gies: No, no, no young man. I am not a hero. No. I did what I had to do. I did it because it was the right thing to do.