A Journey of Change

This new journey of mine has tossed me around and almost landed me in a trash can somewhere. But just like always, I've made it through...about 6 months at least. I don't have many words to describe the experience so far, but the word insight comes to mind. Seriously you never really know until you know. Sometimes things are what they seem and sometimes they are not. I've definitely had my share of things like that over the years. It takes quite a bit of strength and courage to continue on a path when you know it will be a bit rocky, but doing that also brings out a renewed passion in what you do. My current has some challenges, but nothing that scares or intimidates me. I'm looking forward to my future at work and everything it has to offer.

Here are some pictures of UTA and my co-workers in case you were wondering where I work.

Work aside, I really have a pretty pathetic life right now. :) I spend multiple days a week at the bingo Hall spending way too much money, talking to people I barely know and hoping they will be there when I show up next time. Fortunately for me, 95% of th time, they are. The casino used to be the only gamaking type thing that took a lot of my money, but now it's Bingo because it's available 7 times a week and sometimes several times a day. I have been to the casino a couple times and just found out about 2 weeks ago that a charter bus goes from Arlington to the casino every day of the week, twice a day. And get this...it's 8 bucks. You can barely get a combo meal for that price. M y joy of gambling aside, If I don't get a grip, my gambling addiction could put me in the poor house. When I first started this post, I had been clean for 5 days. That is not the case anymore. :( Wish me luck in the future with this addiction, although I'm not ready to quit, so not sure if this plea will really work.

My living arrangements are fantastic right now. I live in a place called Beyond and it is absolutely perfect. All the bills are included, free Internet and cable, nice pool, great parking, easy access to the highways....

So, I might be exaggerating just a tad. All my bills are included for a grand total of $707.00. I really can't beat that. There are apartments here for much less, but you get much less too and I don't want to settle for something I'm not satisfied with. Anyway, there is a gated pool that is used very often. My second floor apartment is at the end of the building overlooking the pool. Unfortunately, there is always about 20 or so kids and at least 15 or so young adults out there and it can get a bit loud. Ok, a lot loud and I usually want to throw bricks out my window and into the pool area to make it seem like I'm shooting at them so they will leave. Unfortunately for me, I have no bricks and I'm slightly frightened of the people that are down there. If great parking means I can find a spot in the complex, then I definitely have great parking. If that also means that someone will ram their car door into mine while I am in the car, acknowledge that they have seen me, roll their eyes at me and keep going, then again, I have great parking. I do have great access to the highways though, the exit is literally right across the street. Unfortunately for me, I don't need the highway to get to work, so I usually have to wait until the traffic dies down to make a right turn. But, those things don't matter because my apartment is great, less than 500 sq ft. and a wall air conditioner/heater that doesn't keep th apartment at the set temperature for more than 5 minutes, if that. I do have a house phone that is included in the rent. I've picked it up once when the office called to tell me I had received a free razor in my office mailbox. I was super excited. It had 4 blades and was brand new. Man, do I love living in th Beyond... Budget Suites and beyond is fabulous and has my vote for sure. Being able to pay by the day, week or month has never seemed so appealing, right?

This is why I love Texas... Man, isn't my life grand?

Ok, so I'm being a bit dramatic. I am actually enjoying my stay so far. I need to make time to see Arlington and surrounding cities, which I plan to do in the coming weeks. I also need to get an apartment. I just haven't found one that I like enough to pay for. It will happen when the time is right. I do need to make some Texas friends so I won't want to go play bingo every day of every week. A friend of mine is coming to visit this summer and I'm going to go facilitate at a conference this summer, so that shoud take me away from it for a couple of days. I also have to eventually go get my things out of storage in Florida. I did just get another year at $50, so maybe I shouldn't rush.

I'm off to make more Texas memories. Hoping you're making some of your own.

~Reel Moments~

National Treasure: Book of Secrets (2007)
Mitch Wilkinson (Ed Harris): "A man has only one life time." "But history can remember you forever."

No, not yet... please.

I don't want it to be over now or ever really. Yes, I could use a different location and loads more money, but i still dont want it to be over. My honeymoon. My sabbatical. My refresher. My sanity break. My bum time. My break from reality. Whatever you want to call it, I don't want it to be over. Unfortunately, i think it's about that time. I am officially on the market and I'm not coming off until an offer is accepted.

It was sort of dramatic as I was submitting the first application. My heart was fluttering. Memories were swarming. My hands were sweating. Panic was rising. Seriously, I needed to get a grip, but I kind of couldn't. I was trying to decide if i was ready to let the present go and move towards the future. I mean, do I remember how to interview. I know how to interview others, but it's been a minute since I was on the recieving end.

The mini panic attack lasted about 20 minutes too long, but all was well. I went on to submit a few more applications, and now Im playing the waiting game.

I made another decision that could change my life forever...literally. I'm applying to Peace Corps. A remarkable organization that i would be beyond thankful to be a part of. It's truly mind boggling though to think that I could be leaving in just a few months. I'm completely down for the cause and think i could be be of some help.

I can't really imagine what it would be like to completely give myself to another culture like they do in Peace Corps. 27 months living in and being a part of a completely different world. Those who know me know of all my ridiculous allergies and dislikes - Shellfish, fruit, grass, wood, bugs, sharing food, nature, etc. So know that the living arangement is not easy for me to wrap my head around, but the cause outweighs all that crap.. except for the allergies. I'll be talking with the recruiter about how I can make it out alive. I would like to do that. I haven't been extended an invitation yet, so I'm still pretty calm about not having the luxuries that America provides. Wathc the video below and go to the Peace Corps website for more info.



I'm really excited about where my life is about to take me even though I'll be losing this massive amount of free time. it will all be worth it though. I'm certain of that.

To Be or Not...

If I really let go, I would remove the word responsibility and everything associated with it from my vocabulary, and then the sh!t would hit the fan because I am bound to completely piss someone off because I didn't do something. The last 7 days, not inluding today) have been the free-ist days of my life. I don't remember childhood enough to know if those were truly the free-ist. Anyway, there has been minimal (almost no) spoken expectations of me except to be ok. I woke up each day at the mercy of will and his sidekick destiny. It was literally walking into the unknown or sometimes even sitting in it. I hung out, but there was no pressure (at least none towards me..hopefully everyone feels the same way minus maybe 1 particular day) to go or do anything in particular. Well, the reality of the sh!t hitting the fan statement above slammed smack dab in my face this morning.

This past Wednesday, I saw a friend at the gas station. We chatted about a few misc topics, and then she asked what I was doing on Sat. I said ...who knows...she said...we need some help... and next thing I know, I have committed myself to volunteer. BTW, that simple statement of yeah, I'n free turned into almost 8 hours of volunteer work. Now, don't get me wrong, I enjoy helping others. I think it hit me bad this mornimg because I was up until 4, and had to be there at 7:30. At 6:55, I had an internal debate. It went a little like this... Why do I have to go? What happens if I don't go? Do they really need me? Why do I feel like I have to go? Why wouldn't I go? Regina, get your lazy bum up and fulfill your obligations. Later, at the registation table, I thought that conversation was utterly ridiculous. Is obligation an equivalent way of saying that I am only doing this because I have to? I don't know, but I realized that I don't want any obligations. I want to just be and do the things I enjoy. No check ups, timesheets, or calendar dates... I just want to be. Unfortunately, I'm almost possible that there will always be some type of responsibility/obligation associated with my life no matter what type of changes I make. The goal is to decide what kind of responsibilities/obligations I want and/or don't want and go from there.

Since I'm not letting go, I have a few more days to be completely free (or as close to that as possible), and I plan to enjoy every free minute.

Reel Moments

Free Willy
TBA