At a loss for words...and frankly, I'm frightened.

For the last however many months, there has been buzz, conversations,seminars, round table discussions, proposals and quite a few other things about gun rights in Texas. A couple months ago, our stugdent government had a forum about the topic to see where our students stood. There were some pros and some cons, but ultimately they voted no. Things started to calm down and the conversations about the topic kind of died down. It still needed to be voted on in the house and the senate, but I'm not sure anyone thought it would pass. I certainly didn't. History has shown us that concealed handguns on campuses is not something that University Officials are in support of.

Well... as I always tell my students, history can influence your future, but it doesn't have to dictate it. I use this statement them help them move forward, but I wish that it was somethine like Use your history as a outline to your future... or do as you/they did before you...

Yesterday, the senate voted to allow concealed handguns on campus in TX passed and I am very uncomfrotable with this. I got into Student Affairs to develop lives, not to protect lives. I think it still needs to go through the house before being signed, but I will have to do a bit kore investigating.

they have got to know that even thought justifications have been give, that the state of teaching and developing will change as a result of this. Challenge and support may ultimately become just support in fear that you may just push one students right over that line and that they MAY have weapon on them. Private conversations will be affected because closed doors may result in no one coming out. A typical calm, loving environment becomes one of threat and fear.

How are we supposed to live with that? how are we supposed to teach with that? how are we supposed to move forward.

Last night, I was thinking... I've been in Arlington for about 6 months and I have talked to Police Officers more this semester than I ever have in one semester. Now, the outcome for most of these situations have been very mild, but what if this law had passed at the beginning of the semester. Would the outcomes have been different?
I work in Greek Life, so why do I feel fear at all? t's because regardless of the titles and areas, we work with people and people can be unstable.

I keep thinking, I've only been here for 6 months. It's too early too live. There's so much more I can offer this community. There's so much more that they deserve to get from being in this community...and then I hear myself think "Is it really worth it to put your life in jeopardy?"

That may be a bit early, but I'm a future thinker, and the future is looking pretty bleak.

Think about the poosibility of a gun in classrooms, in restrooms, in offices, in residences halls, in the on campus police station, in the rec center,in libraries, in food courts, in large open areas...

Now think about a population of 33,000 plus possibly bringing a gun into those same areas.

Am I overreacting? I think not, and fortunately or unfortunately...I value my life and my sense of feeling protected or at least safe.

I don't know what the future holds, but....I don't know.

A Journey of Change

This new journey of mine has tossed me around and almost landed me in a trash can somewhere. But just like always, I've made it through...about 6 months at least. I don't have many words to describe the experience so far, but the word insight comes to mind. Seriously you never really know until you know. Sometimes things are what they seem and sometimes they are not. I've definitely had my share of things like that over the years. It takes quite a bit of strength and courage to continue on a path when you know it will be a bit rocky, but doing that also brings out a renewed passion in what you do. My current has some challenges, but nothing that scares or intimidates me. I'm looking forward to my future at work and everything it has to offer.

Here are some pictures of UTA and my co-workers in case you were wondering where I work.

Work aside, I really have a pretty pathetic life right now. :) I spend multiple days a week at the bingo Hall spending way too much money, talking to people I barely know and hoping they will be there when I show up next time. Fortunately for me, 95% of th time, they are. The casino used to be the only gamaking type thing that took a lot of my money, but now it's Bingo because it's available 7 times a week and sometimes several times a day. I have been to the casino a couple times and just found out about 2 weeks ago that a charter bus goes from Arlington to the casino every day of the week, twice a day. And get this...it's 8 bucks. You can barely get a combo meal for that price. M y joy of gambling aside, If I don't get a grip, my gambling addiction could put me in the poor house. When I first started this post, I had been clean for 5 days. That is not the case anymore. :( Wish me luck in the future with this addiction, although I'm not ready to quit, so not sure if this plea will really work.

My living arrangements are fantastic right now. I live in a place called Beyond and it is absolutely perfect. All the bills are included, free Internet and cable, nice pool, great parking, easy access to the highways....

So, I might be exaggerating just a tad. All my bills are included for a grand total of $707.00. I really can't beat that. There are apartments here for much less, but you get much less too and I don't want to settle for something I'm not satisfied with. Anyway, there is a gated pool that is used very often. My second floor apartment is at the end of the building overlooking the pool. Unfortunately, there is always about 20 or so kids and at least 15 or so young adults out there and it can get a bit loud. Ok, a lot loud and I usually want to throw bricks out my window and into the pool area to make it seem like I'm shooting at them so they will leave. Unfortunately for me, I have no bricks and I'm slightly frightened of the people that are down there. If great parking means I can find a spot in the complex, then I definitely have great parking. If that also means that someone will ram their car door into mine while I am in the car, acknowledge that they have seen me, roll their eyes at me and keep going, then again, I have great parking. I do have great access to the highways though, the exit is literally right across the street. Unfortunately for me, I don't need the highway to get to work, so I usually have to wait until the traffic dies down to make a right turn. But, those things don't matter because my apartment is great, less than 500 sq ft. and a wall air conditioner/heater that doesn't keep th apartment at the set temperature for more than 5 minutes, if that. I do have a house phone that is included in the rent. I've picked it up once when the office called to tell me I had received a free razor in my office mailbox. I was super excited. It had 4 blades and was brand new. Man, do I love living in th Beyond... Budget Suites and beyond is fabulous and has my vote for sure. Being able to pay by the day, week or month has never seemed so appealing, right?

This is why I love Texas... Man, isn't my life grand?

Ok, so I'm being a bit dramatic. I am actually enjoying my stay so far. I need to make time to see Arlington and surrounding cities, which I plan to do in the coming weeks. I also need to get an apartment. I just haven't found one that I like enough to pay for. It will happen when the time is right. I do need to make some Texas friends so I won't want to go play bingo every day of every week. A friend of mine is coming to visit this summer and I'm going to go facilitate at a conference this summer, so that shoud take me away from it for a couple of days. I also have to eventually go get my things out of storage in Florida. I did just get another year at $50, so maybe I shouldn't rush.

I'm off to make more Texas memories. Hoping you're making some of your own.

~Reel Moments~

National Treasure: Book of Secrets (2007)
Mitch Wilkinson (Ed Harris): "A man has only one life time." "But history can remember you forever."